


The pine and the sickly sweet

by higayimdad



Series: Stray Kids oneshots [3]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Author Is Sleep Deprived, Bad Decisions, Confessions, Drinking, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Hurt, Jealousy, Kissing, Light Angst, M/M, Not Beta Read, Oblivious, Pining, Tsundere Minho, Underage Drinking, but they dont know it, they are in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-18
Updated: 2020-06-18
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:28:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 26,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24779164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/higayimdad/pseuds/higayimdad
Summary: “You have said the same thing for all the clothes? Can I get another reaction? I need a stylish boyfriend to shop for clothes with, not you useless fools.” He crossed his arms and sighed.“A boyfriend really?” Jeongin laughed at him.“Yes I need someone who’s nice, hot, likes to take care of me, has a good fashion sense, and gives me compliments.”Right as Jisung was about to close the curtain for the last time, Minho came from behind Seungmin and Jeongin.“Hm, those look nice. Black suits you better than denim,” After he had taken a sip of the coffee again, he held the other up and looked at Jisung. “I bought coffee for you by the way, I couldn’t bear listening to you complain about being tired.” Though his voice was monotone and unbothered, it carried the energy of something endearing.Seungmin and Jeongin shared a knowing glance, like they knew something the others didn’t.orJisung desperately wants a boyfriend, someone like, Minho. Yeah! Like Minho!Minho has the emotional quotient of a rock, and has therefore a hard time expressing what he feels.Misunderstandings, alcohol, confessions, and eventual love.
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Lee Felix/Seo Changbin
Series: Stray Kids oneshots [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1756504
Comments: 22
Kudos: 352
Collections: Life hates Minsung





	The pine and the sickly sweet

**Author's Note:**

> Yikes, this took a lot longer than what I thought lol. 
> 
> Minho is LOOSELY based on a tsundere-ish personality, obviously not to the fullest. But that was my original idea. And then I ended up with this. 
> 
> Strap in, and let's go.  
> (Also to the Americans, football is SOCCER. but I will call it FOOTBALL because that's the correct word. 
> 
> 2020-10-01  
> In light of some somewhat recent events regarding Woojin, I have decided to go through all of my old skz aus and edit him out. This is not a process that will take just a few hours, but something I'm going to have to do over time. Though, for me, personally its very important that I do this. Hopefully, when whoever reads this,,,reads,,,,this,,he's completely gone from this story. If not, please know the author is doing her best in removing him from the work.
> 
> My love and support goes out to all victims involved in this, you are very brave.

## ***

“Come on give me a kiss, give me a kiss.” Jisung huddled closer to Minho, forcing the other to recoil back towards the cold window. At last Jisung cupped his cheeks and leaned in. 

“Let go of me.” Minho mumbled, grabbing Jisung’s wrists and pushing him back in his seat promptly. Then he let go of the younger and straightened his back. 

Jisung huffed a “you’re so boring.” and crossed his arms. After a second of thinking he turned around in the bus seat and locked in on another target. “Innie...give me a kiss, come here.” 

Minho watched his friend next to him struggle yet another time to receive a kiss. Jisung usually went a few steps further with his other friends than he did with Minho. He held a struggling Jeongin in his hold and puckered with his lips like a fish. When his whole body was turned back to Jeongin and the shouting became just a tad bit too loud Seungmin finally ripped out his headphones and sneered at them; 

“Can you guys sit down?” 

Jisung and Jeongin separated and settled down in their seats, only now did they notice how more than a handful of people were staring at them with big eyes from all around. Jeongin brushed it off with nothing more than the faintest blush on his face. Jisung on the other hand immediately eyed everyone around him, he seemed like he wasn’t even aware they were looking before. Now that they were he wanted to sink through his seat and disappear before they bored through his soul. 

Noticing how Jisung finally averted his gaze towards his shoes and had sweat forming on his forehead, Minho bumped their shoulders together and whispered. 

“Our stop is in like five minutes.” _So don’t worry, you won’t have to bear with the staring for much longer. Besides they will forget you in seconds. Don’t fret too much._

“Yeah.” Jisung looked up at him and flashed a careful smile, the blue hair sticking out in all kinds of directions from underneath the black cap. His mocha eyes followed Minho’s features around, and when Minho noticed it he glanced away. Pretending like he didn’t see it. 

Like Minho had mentioned they arrived by their bus stop barely five minutes later, Jisung was the first one off, with the other three stepping out right behind him. With a deep breath Jisung inhaled the crisp fall air. It had been raining for a week straight, making the pavement dark and the trees glossy with mirror-like water. Jisung had always been a fan of the scent of the outside after rain, like everything had been cleaned. 

Something about rain reminded Jisung that everything could start over fresh, it didn’t make sense when he told any of his friends about it. But it did to him.

Once everyone was off Jisung grabbed ahold of the one closest to him, Seungmin, and began dragging him in the direction of the gigantic shopping mall everyone was too familiar with. Behind them Jeongin and Minho followed suit. Jisung was usually responsible for the energy level in their group, along with Seungmin and Felix, who were the only ones who could match his level. Since Seungmin was still annoyed at him from the bus, he was promptly giving him the silent treatment. 

Minho watched Jisung literally almost jump up and down the walls of the mall, pointing in different directions and pushing himself up to shop windows looking at clothes, it was almost as if he had never been here before. 

“Oh! Can we go here, I need to buy a new pair of jeans. Mine got trashed.” Jisung fastened his pace and entered a store. The other three followed him and walked around alongside him looking at the clothes. Minho finally cleared his throat and told the others he would go and buy coffee, it seemed only Jeongin noticed he said something and hummed as an answer before he disappeared. 

Jisung walked around for another two or three minutes before bringing _way_ too many clothes into a changing room. Between each piece of clothing, he dragged the curtains to the changing room open and did a twirl for Jeongin and Seungmin who waited outside. Each time they mumbled a monotone “yeah looks nice”. When Jisung was on the last pair of pants and they said the exact same thing, he clenched his fists and scoffed at them. 

“You have said the same thing for all the clothes? Can I get another reaction? I need a stylish boyfriend to shop for clothes with, not you useless fools.” He crossed his arms and sighed. 

“A boyfriend really?” Jeongin laughed at him. Probably most likely wondering where it came from. 

“Yes I need someone who’s nice, hot, likes to take care of me, _has a good fashion sense,_ and gives me compliments.” 

Both Seungmin and Jeongin snickered through closed mouths. Jisung had a habit of complaining how he was forever single, even more so after Changbin and Felix finally stopped playing around and got together. Every time he daydreamed of a boyfriend the criteria changed depending on his mood, sometimes he wanted a comedian, sometimes he could be however as long as he was rich and sometimes it was enough if he was simply, well, not ugly. Though more often than not, the few standards were; "nice, likes me, takes care of me."

Right as Jisung was about to close the curtain for the last time, Minho came from behind Seungmin and Jeongin. He carried one coffee in each of his hands and took a sip of one of them. 

“Hm, those look nice. Black suits you better than denim,” After he had taken a sip of the coffee again, he held the other up and looked at Jisung. “I bought coffee for you by the way, I couldn’t bear listen to you complain about being tired.” Though his voice was monotone and unbothered, it carried the energy of something endearing. 

Jisung looked at him with giant doe eyes for a second, then he looked at Seungmin and Jeongin. 

“See that’s how you treat a friend!” Then he whipped around and closed the curtain, already changing. Seungmin and Jeongin shared a knowing glance, like they knew something the others didn’t. The three waited outside, when Jisung came out after a minute or so he hung everything back, except the black pants Minho had complimented before. 

Outside the store Jisung opened his wallet again and looked at the few sad bills in it, before asking Minho he counted them. “How much was the coffee?” And without a moment of hesitation the older answered; 

“Don’t bother, just pay for me some other time.” 

Like he had abandoned the other two completely, Jisung stuck to Minho’s side the rest of the day, clinging onto his arm. When they were walking out of the large mall, he stuck his hands inside the elder's pockets. Minho took a step backward, almost causing Jisung to fall. 

“What are you doing?!” 

“I’m robbing you,” Jisung smiled, and his entire upper row of teeth flashed white. “I’m kidding, kidding, I’m just freezing.” 

Minho grabbed Jisung’s hands from inside his own pockets and took them out. He wiped his hands on his jackets, almost as if they were dirty. Jisung huffed and it looked like he regret saying Minho was a real friend just earlier. 

“That’s on you. You have pockets of your own.” Minho told him, though refusing to look Jisung in the eyes. 

Seungmin knocked on Jisung’s shoulder. 

“Stop complaining. What bus are we taking? We are going to Woojin’s are we not?” 

“Yes, we’re taking number 7.” Jisung pointed at one of the signs above them. 

They arrived at Woojin’s apartment 30 minutes later, except for Chan they were the first ones there. Woojin was still cleaning up and had to shower when they knocked on his door. _“You are here so early.” - “What do you mean? Chan is here too!”_

Woojin was the first one to move to an apartment, all by himself on top of that, not considering Chan was there more than what he was at the dorm he shared with another student in his year. Seeing as the apartment was both located near _everything_ , considerably bigger than all the other dorms. It also had neither parents nor roommates there to disturb them. Naturally, it was the best place to hang out at. When Woojin came out of the shower he announced they would order food as soon as Hyunjin came. _“So probably in like 20 minutes.”_

“What about Felix and Changbin?” Jeongin asked, from the sofa. 

“They couldn’t come. _Date night!_ ” Woojin imitated the way Felix would say it, scarily accurate. 

“Boring.” He scoffed and turned back to playing on his phone. 

“Cut them some slack, we just have to wait until the honeymoon phase is over.” Chan said from behind his computer. 

Jisung rolled his eyes, they had already been in the honeymoon phase for nearly two months, but in all honesty, he was probably just annoyed because he was jealous. If it weren’t because he had been in a desperate need of a relationship for so long, he would probably act like Chan. _Cut them some slack._

“By the way, does anyone wanna go to the movies with me tomorrow?” Jisung asked through a mouthful of food. He looked around the table at the 6 other boys. Both Jeongin and Seungmin declined. 

_“I have my first test on Monday, I have to study.”_ The youngest whispered.

 _“And I’m tutoring him.”_ Seungmin followed up. 

Jisung looked around the table again with pleading eyes, Chan and Woojin agreed at first but took it back when Jisung said the screening was at 5. _“I have work.”_ They said, almost simultaneously. Hyunjin declined too, the two’s taste in genres were polar opposites, that they would agree on a movie to watch was near impossible, especially when it was only the two of them. _“I’ll only go if I’m allowed to choose what we are watching.” - “Over my dead body.”_

At last, he looked at Minho, his face was straight and cold like it usually was. He had one of his legs propped up on the chair and rested his head in his hand, the velvet-like black hair fell down over his eyes. Most people found Minho either intimidating or rude, but it was just his natural personality. He was neither a fan of talking about feelings or showing them in overly physical ways. It took a long time for Jisung to decipher Minho, to learn what expressions meant he was happy, angry, sad, or simply _okay_. Though they looked the same to most. Jisung also knew Minho cared almost too much, even if he had a hard time expressing it. 

So when Jisung's own mocha eyes met with Minho’s almost dark cedar ones as if he searched for what he would say long before he opened his mouth. To Jisung’s surprise, it looked like he considered it. 

“Mhm, I have football practice until 6. Can’t miss it.” 

Jisung put his chopsticks down. He wasn’t content with the answer. “There is a screening at 8 too! Let’s go then instead, then we can go drinking afterward.” 

It was as if stars exploded in his eyes, glimmering with hope. Seungmin and Hyunjin hadn’t known Minho for as long as the others, only meeting in the past year. Therefore, when Jisung repeated himself and changed the time after Minho declined the first time, they almost thought of him as ridiculous. Even more so when he suggested drinking afterward. If they knew one thing, it was that Minho didn’t handle alcohol well.

“Sure.” He broke the eye contact with Jisung and swirled around in his food with his chopsticks. It looked like Jisung was silently celebrating, barely containing his joy in his chair. Seungmin and Hyunjin looked at each other, silently they asked each other; _would Jisung adjust his plans for anyone but Minho?_ Of course, they would never say it out loud, or at least not in front of either Minho or Jisung. 

The day thereafter Jisung arrived by the large field Minho had practice at. Jisung cared next to nothing about football, and the only things he knew was that they used their feet, Minho was a midfielder and that he had number 19 on his back. Jisung sat down on the bleachers on the side of the field and watched as the large group of boys worked out, there were a few other people there. An older man he guessed was a parent of someone. And a small group of girls. One in jet-black hair was wearing a shirt with number 04 on her back, matching one of the players on the field. Jisung guessed that they had a thing. 

He couldn’t help but eavesdrop on their conversation, even moving just the tiniest bit closer to them to hear better. 

_“Isn’t it concerning how hot they look playing?”_ One asked, 

_“I know, Mina lucked out when she managed to get it with Gyu. Right Mina?”_ The girl with black hair with number 04 pushed her friend lightly. Still her facial expression read exactly; _yeah I really did luck out._

The coach blew his whistle and it didn’t take long before the players scattered, Minho grabbed his bag and began walking in the direction of Jisung, seeing as he was sitting on the bleachers. When Minho was still out of earshot, one of the girls whispered. 

_“Number 19, Minho, he’s sooo handsome isn’t he?”_ Who it was he didn’t see. 

Jisung felt the urge to suddenly boast to them that he indeed was the one leaving with Minho, that he was the one watching a movie with him, not them. 

He could barely explain it to himself why, but he hurried down the bleachers and reached over the fence for Minho when he came walking over. 

“Hyung,” he dragged out the word, making it whinier than necessary. “you are so slow, hurry and shower so we can go.” Jisung tried to reach for his face, presumably to smother it. Minho dodged the hands and stopped in his tracks. 

“I’m sweaty, don’t touch me. Follow me to the changing rooms and I’ll be done in 20.” He spoke slowly, his voice _did_ give out an undertone of being rude. But it wasn’t the case at all. 

The two boys walked past the group of girls, they were though separated by the metal fence, reaching just up their stomachs. Jisung considered jumping over it but before he had time to voice the thought, it seemed like Minho had read his mind. _“Stay on that side, you will trash the jeans if you try climbing”_. The blue-haired one brushed it off and pretended as he had never come across the idea all. Just as he was about to say something a few other players came walking in their direction. 

Minho nodded to player 04, who was walking in front of the other 3 players. They were likely walking to the girls behind Minho and Jisung. When they had passed it was hard to ignore the loud _peck_ that echoed, presumably 04 and the black-haired girl greeting each other. 

Just as Minho and Jisung were about the leave the field for the changing rooms someone shouted behind them. 

“Oh Minho-ah? You wanna hang out later?” It was number 04. 

Instinctively Jisung gripped Minho’s arm, almost as if wanted to parade the fact that Minho was with him. The older froze up for a second before he finally relaxed. Monotone like always, he shouted back; 

“I have plans.” 

Without another word the two friends left the field. Jisung waited with patience for Minho outside the changing room as both players entered and left, all of them eyed Jisung slightly. Of course they would never say anything, especially not anything that could come off insulting towards him. Jisung was friends with Minho after all, and most people, even the ones in his own team, would rather not be on Minho’s bad side. 

It took much longer than Jisung wanted it too, Minho being completely done just before 7. Seeing they only had just about an hour until the movie he tapped with his foot rapidly outside Minho’s car, waiting for him to unlock it. 

“I don’t understand why you are stressed. It’s over an hour left until the movie starts. It takes 25 minutes tops to drive there.” 

“You do not understand hyung!” he clapped once, letting his hands intertwine with each other afterward. “What if there is traffic? And we need to buy snacks, buy tickets, go to the bathroom before, plus there is probably a lot of people there so! Queues!” 

He was right in most ways, it did take them nearly 40 minutes to drive there, due to a minor accident. The cinema was almost flooded, making not only Jisung stick flushed to Minho’s side, but them buying tickets significantly harder. Besides they spent 5 minutes fighting over what movie to watch. Jisung initially wanted to watch whatever the latest marvel movie was, while Minho had changed his mind on the way there to a new horror film. 

Somehow, whether it was Minho’s stern voice or simply his persistence. Jisung was convinced, and they went with a horror movie. Only just barely in time did they find their seats, a minute or two before the movie started. 

Minho knew Jisung hated horror movies, he couldn’t stand them. Jisung knew Minho knew Jisung hated them. Still, he forced himself to watch it because he would feel his heart flutter when he looked over at the older just as the movie started. Though he bore almost the same tired-looking face, the corners of his mouth jerked upwards when the eerie music started and Jisung clung to his side. Jisung sighed mentally, but if Minho were about to babysit drunk Jisung afterward, at least he could get his way and watch the horror movie. How Minho found it remotely amusing though, Jisung didn’t know. 

They walked out of the theater, Jisung still held a firm grasp around Minho’s upper arm. Though the older seemed tense at the touch the younger refused to let go, afraid just about anything could kill him at this point. 

He sighed, happy it was over, then he looked at Minho. 

“I’m gonna have to drink my fears away now you know.” 

“Hyuuung do you want to leave?” Jisung leaned over the table and widened his eyes, as if he tried not to look tired. His face was flushed red. 

“Do you?” He barely looked up from his phone, the cup of water in front of him had been empty since long. 

Jisung had been running between the bar, Minho’s small table, and the dance floor for almost 3 hours. Though he looked utmost exhausted, Minho was sure he could keep on for hours if no one stopped him. At first Minho was bored, nothing to do except watch the younger from a distance, watching him downing drinks too quick or moving around to the beat of whatever song was on. His blue hair had since long started sticking to his forehead from sweat and it looked like Jisung wanted to strip the black t-shirt in an attempt to cool off. 

“Can we stay for just a bit longer?” He looked at Minho with pleading eyes like he didn’t know he would already agree. “I’ll give you a kiss as compensation.”

“Mm go. Do not kiss me.” 

And so Jisung was off, Minho watched him again for a while. No longer finding that interesting he turned back to the explore page on Instagram as if that was more interesting. Soon a girl came, brushing her fingers on the top of the table. Her hair reached just past her shoulders, a nice chestnut color. The eyes were big and dark, reminding Minho of someone. Through a shy voice she asked him; 

“Would you like to dance?” 

“Thanks, but no thanks.” 

It was as if she had never been rejected before, and being unfamiliar with Minho’s way of speaking and normal facial expressions, it was as if he had spit on her mother's grave. Almost through an offended scoff, she left him in a second. At the same time Jisung had found someone to dance with, he was almost a head taller than the younger and had his hands firmly on his hips. They danced close, like they were about to merge into one. Minho and Jisung locked eyes, and there was something arrogant and seductive floating in the air coming from the youngers' mocha irises. 

Minho gathered his things, pushed through multiple people before grabbed a hold on Jisung. 

“Let’s go. Now.” 

“Now? Already?” 

The man behind Jisung was lightly pushed away when Minho had grabbed the younger. He looked like he was about to argue with Minho for disturbing him and Jisung. When he caught the tension wafting off Minho like perfume he backed off slightly. He held his hands up in defeat. 

“Shit, keep an eye on your boyfriend if he’s running around acting like this. People might get the wrong idea.” 

Minho was infuriated. “He’s not-” 

He cut his sentence short, he shut his lips in a firm line and his usual cold exterior washed over him again. He decided to no longer pay attention to the guy. In his arms he already carried the things Jisung had left at the table, moving his hand from Jisung’s upper arm to his wrist, he started dragging Jisung to the exit.

They sat down in the car, the music from the bar was muffled in the background, Minho’s knuckles turned white from holding the steering wheel. He was yet to start the car, simply taking deep breaths with Jisung sitting next to him. 

“Did something happen, why did we leave so abruptly?” 

“Nevermind it, if you need to throw up tell me and I’ll pull over. Here is a bag in case.” _I just couldn’t watch him feel you up like that._

They drove off, unfortunately, Minho’s dorm and Jisung’s dorm were located on different sides of campus. It took them a while to arrive in the parking lot outside Jisung’s dorm. The entire building was almost pitch black, with the exception of a few rooms still illuminated. Of course, it was nearly 2 AM, which meant people were either still partying; not intending to stop for another three hours, or sleeping, and had been for a while. 

“We are here, can you walk up by yourself? 

No answer came from Jisung, instead light snores floated around inside the car. Finally audible when the engine was off. Minho sighed, knowing what he had to do. 

He scooped up the asleep boy in his arms, holding his arms both with care but also firmly around his waist and behind his knees, making sure he had everything of Jisung’s he began walking towards the entrance, already holding Jisung’s entrance card in his hand. On his way up the stairs it seemed like Jisung stirred in his sleep. 

“Hyung. Did you have fun tonight? You looked very sad.” He mumbled, his mouth was still barely open, and with his face against Minho’s shirt it took a while for Minho to understand what he said. 

“I had. I was not sad.” 

“I’m sorry.” The younger whispered, voice almosttrembling. 

“What for?” 

But the younger had fallen asleep again, this time even deeper. Against his chest, he could feel the heartbeats beat at a calm pace. 

Minho struggled with removing Jisung’s boots, seeing he had tied them with rock-solid double knots. For almost five minutes he struggled with them, cursing under his breath. And when he was done exhaustion finally hit him. If it weren’t for everything, he thought to himself that he could just scoot Jisung to the side and sleep next to him. _Don’t be ridiculous Minho._

His blue hair was disheveled, before it was styled with caution in the way Jisung usually wore it. Now it stuck out in all kinds of direction. His pinkish lips parted slightly and the face was relaxed. Minho decided on letting Jisung just sleep the night in his clothes, finding it would be too difficult to even begin somewhere. 

Taken from the younger’s backpack Minho laid out two pills beside a bottle of water next to Jisung’s bed. On a post-it stolen from his desk Minho wrote “take these”, for the younger in the morning. 

Just before leaving he walked back to the younger, crouching down before the bed, with a shaking hand he stroked Jisung’s hair once, trying to tame it back into place. It stayed there, absolutely still with the hair between his fingers. Minho had always thought himself of some sort of coward. Sure he loved horror movies, he was neither afraid of being tackled on the field nor scared anything would happen to him. And if it did, he could do nothing but accept it. But he was still a coward, absolutely terrified of expressing what he felt when others could hear him. It was only when Jisung was like this, black out drunk he dared to do so. Though his face was still expressionless he whispered, as if Jisung _could_ hear him. 

“Of course I’m not sad. Not when I’m with yo-” 

In through the door Felix scrambled, dropping his keys on the floor and letting out a series of curses. Minho was on his feet in seconds, as if nothing he had done had ever happened. Minho and Felix looked at each other for a long while. At last the freckled boy opposite Minho asked. 

“What are you doing here?” 

“Taking him home,” He pointed a bit sheepishly at the sleeping boy. “What are you doing here?”

“I have been with Changbin, but you know this is _my_ dorm after all. It’s not so weird I’m here is it?” He laughed, letting the silence to follow become a bit easier. Minho nodded. 

“Of course. Goodnight.” 

He walked past Felix without a second thought and disappeared out of the building. Felix let his stuff fall to the floor and began undressing when his eyes got caught on the pills next to Jisung’s bed. Then the shoes taken off, and the blanket carefully folded on top of his body to give the passed out boy some warmth. 

Somewhere inside Felix a voice reminded him. _That’s what Changbin used to do for me too._

  
  


“Please, for the love of me, quiet down just a bit.”

Jisung was sitting huddled up on one of the chairs in the library, around him Hyunjin, Seungmin and Felix sat. First they shared a glance with each other, eyebrows so high up they were about to disappear into their hairline. Then the three pairs of eyes looked back on Jisung, his own eyes were hidden behind a pair of pitchblack sunglasses. He had even gone as far as prop his hand in front of his eyes, to shield them further from the sunlight. 

He was twirling a pen around his fingers, and the pages before him were empty in comparison with his friends. They were all full of words, from top to bottom, and his were whiter than snow. 

“We are quiet, we literally haven’t said anything in five minutes.” Hyunjin said, but he almost let it out as a question. 

“No- Felix made some sound, too loud.” It was as if Jisung was almost shaking in his seat. 

“Did you mean- when I coughed?” 

“Yes whatever it was, too loud.” 

His three friends looked at each other again, unsure whether to cry or laugh. It was past noon and the sun was shining through the gigantic windows behind them. Jisung had, since they came here, been hiding from the sun, almost as if he was a vampire. Though he complained the entire morning, Felix had managed to drag him along with them to study, knowing more than anyone just _how much_ Jisung actually needed it. The semester had barely started and Jisung had a slow start, already close to falling behind in most of his classes. However, as they watched him, hungover, tired and more or less dead in his seat, they wondered if he should’ve just stayed in bed. 

“I’m going to the bathroom, not to like, puke, just, bathroom.” On wobbly legs he walked away. 

Silence followed until Jisung was completely out of both earshot and sight. 

“Jesus _fucking_ christ.” Hyunjin mumbled. 

“Don’t swear. But yes.” Seungmin said. 

They were still staring in the direction where Jisung had disappeared. 

“I do not understand how he can be so lightweight and get _so_ hungover. One day he will die.” Felix said, he was still scribbling words on his paper, when he suddenly stopped, mid sentence. “By the way I just have to ask something.” 

Seungmin and Hyunjin looked at him, nodded almost invisibly. 

“Is Minho-hyung, maybe, interested in Jisung? And Jisung in him?”

“I don’t know, me and Hyunjin haven’t known Minho for so long. But they do behave differently towards each other than us.” 

“Right, and like I know this is weak evidence, but like aside from everything about Minho, he sometimes acts exactly like Changbin did with me before we got together,” 

Both Seungmin and Hyunjin leaned in, waiting for Felix to continue. 

“Like yesterday when I came home, Minho-hyung was in our dorm, you know dropping Jisung off. And he had taken off his shoes, made sure he had a blanket, water and pills for this morning. It’s not much, but not only have I’ve seen _you_ ,” he pointed at Hyunjin, making his eyes widen at the sudden call out, “literally throw Jisung on his bed after a night out and then leave. Plus, Changbin told me Minho had never done more than help him to the bed when he gets too drunk.” 

Seungmin dragged his fingers through the light brown hair, it shined in the sun like silk. 

“Okay but like, is Minho even gay? I swear if I didn’t know better I’d think he was saving himself for marriage. Or was in celibate.”

“He has never said anything, but he has never said he was straight either.” Hyunjin pointed out. 

“True true true, but that guy is so hard to read. I don’t understand how Jisung does it.” 

“I know, Jisung and Changbin always talk about how ‘he looks angry’ or ‘he must be tired’, personally I can’t tell the difference between any of his expressions. Or his voice. Like I love the dude, but damn he’s a hard nut to crack.” 

They went on for minutes, soon the conversation escalated and they were no longer talking about either Jisung or Minho. After multiple minutes, remembering the empty chair next to him; Felix finally pointed out. “Why is he in the bathroom for so long?”

Like he had summoned Jisung, he came walking towards them, his eyes were still covered with the sunglasses and he looked even worse coming back. 

“I lied, I puked, I’m going home. School can wait. Besides, Minho is passing by the library anyway so he’s driving me home.” He clasped his hands together like he was praying. In a matter of seconds he had gathered all of his things, thrown them into his backpack and then said goodbye. When he was once again gone, the three remaining boys looked at each other like they had done before, reminded of the conversation they had moments ago. 

Everyone turned back to their own stuff, but it was like they shared a thought in unison. 

_Well, it’s something._

The door shut with a slam, Jisung regretted his own action as soon as the loud bang echoed in the car, making his head spin. It smelled faintly of woodlands. Jisung had never traveled out of country, but this was what he imagined what it would smell like in deep pine forests of northern countries, white snow was covering the ground. As is head ached, the scent calmed him ever so slightly. 

“Hyung, you are a lifesaver, I think I’m dying.” 

“Mhm.” He buckled himself back and kept his eyes on the road, barely paying attention to the boy next to him. It was barely a five minute drive from the library to the dorms, and Jisung could’ve walked.

“Do you wanna hang out, we’re already going to the dorms anyway.” 

“Football practice, then I’m studying. You should too.” 

In Jisung’s head it sounded like he was accused of murder, when it was in fact just Minho pointing out that he _should_ study, which was true. Jisung scoffed and grabbed his backpack, as if he didn’t want the older to find out about his unfinished assignments, hidden in there. Through the fabric he could feel the sharp corners of his literature textbook. At last Jisung sighed and mumbled quietly to himself; _“yeah maybe.”_

As Minho pulled up in the parking lot and Jisung unbuckled himself Minho spoke again, his voice cracked at the beginning, like he hadn’t talked for years. 

“Do you want me to come over after practice and help you study?” 

Jisung smiled and nodded, when he shut the door behind him he finally allowed the blush to creep up his face, staining the lobes of his ears red first. On his way up the stairs, seeing his door in the distance, he finally realized it felt like something was missing, though he couldn’t place it exactly. He tried his hardest to think of what it was, as he unlocked his door, as he washed his face, as he laid down in his bed, still exhausted.

Something _was_ missing. 

Jisung fell asleep. 

He dreamt of a pine forest covered in snow. 

He woke up abruptly when the door to the dorm opened. Felix had always nagged on him for forgetting to lock when he was alone in there. 

_“Someday someone will come in, rob us and then kill you!”_

_“Don’t be ridiculous, who would rob this depressing place?”_

Still he got scared when the door opened, without even a knock warning him beforehand. But when wet black hair peeked out from the gap in the door. Then the whole body of a boy emerged, closing the door behind him, Jisung let out the breath he had been holding. 

With the fling of his arm he covered his face with the sleeve of his shirt. Engulfing himself in darkness once again. 

“You scared me hyung.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

He came inside without much thought, he sat down by Jisung’s desk. Situated by the end of his bed. Minho glanced around at the scattered papers, some were unfinished assignments, some were lyric ideas and some were incoherent ramble. He pushed it all to the side and placed his computer there instead, opening it. From Jisung’s place on the bed he could see the blue light illuminate Minho’s side profile. Every single feature was prominent. His jawline was sharp, nose straight and lips puckered out naturally. The eyebrows were, almost constantly furrowed downwards, Jisung knew that it wasn’t because he was mad, instead he was relaxed. Minho’s entire head was tilted downwards, staring at the screen on the desk. After too much staring, the older averted his gaze from the screen to Jisung. But his head didn’t move, it was only the cedar that stared right back at Jisung. 

It was almost, almost, creepy how nothing but his eyes moved.

“Stop staring, work instead.” 

Jisung stood up from his bed with a sigh and finally opened the textbook. To himself he thought, _I have paid too much for this, might as well read it too._

In the middle of reading, Jisung had to take a pause and ask. 

“Is it raining outside?”

“No. Why?” 

“But your hair... “ 

Minho threaded his own hair through his fingers, it looked like he realized only now that it was still damp. 

“...I told you, I was at practice. I took a shower afterwards, obviously.” 

Jisung let out an “ah”, and since Minho didn’t continue their conversation, not that he did that very often, Jisung continued to read. He listened to the sound of Minho tapping on his keyboard. The fast _tap tap tap tap_ was quite satisfying to hear, like background noise while he read. Jisung shuffled around the bed, until he decided on laying on his stomach, as close as he could get to Minho. 

After a while he could feel it again, the faint scent of pine. 

“Hyung help me with this.” He said, and sat up, leaning against the wall next to his bed. He still held the textbook in his hand, but he had also brought out his own computer, and notes from class stolen from Felix’s desk. Minho stretched out his hand, waiting for Jisung to hand him what he needed help with, so he could take a look. Jisung shook his head.

“No, come sit here instead, it’s comfortable.” Then he patted the empty space next to him a few times. 

Minho hesitated, but still came to sit next to him, bringing his computer with him. Jisung glanced over at his screen. Minho closed it partially, and Jisung let it go, knowing how much his friend hated when people pried. 

The younger let out sounds of “ah” and “oh” when Minho began explaining what he should do. Pointing at the screen, giving examples from the textbook and pulling thoughts from his head without effort. Jisung liked listening to Minho explain things. It was the only time he could really hear Minho speak for long periods of time, his voice was slightly raspy but it wasn’t unpleasant. It was rather the opposite, to Jisung it felt like honey in his ears.

When he was done, Minho was immediately on his way to stand up again, but Jisung grabbed ahold of his wrist and dragged him down again. Minho looked at him with something questioning spread across his face. 

“Sit, rest, don’t you think I can see that you are exhausted? Running from practice, babysitting me, practice again, just to be dragged back to my dorm.” 

“I’m not.” Minho said, but he still let out a breath, and Jisung could see his shoulders relax. 

It was probably not even five minutes later when Minho shut his eyes and his breathing slowed down. Jisung glanced over at him, at first he wanted to pull some sort of prank, seeing how rare it is for Minho to fall asleep in such a vulnerable situation. But knowing that Minho was truly so exhausted he _did_ fall asleep in a vulnerable situation, made him change his mind. Jisung kept on working on his school work, listening to Minho’s breathing and feeling his perfume linger in the air. 

The younger had always been a very open person. He liked both giving and receiving physical affection, words of encouragement and safety. So when Changbin introduced Jisung to Minho for the first time when he was a 12th grader and Jisung a 10th grader they didn’t hit it off very well. It was after one of Minho’s football games that Changbin had dragged him to along with Chan and Woojin, who were home from university momentarily. 

Jisung had praised Minho when he first met him, like he was a literal god walking the earth. Jisung was also 16 and hormonal, which was why he was even more fascinated by his good looks, seeing that he was handsome even when drenched in sweat. 

Minho had only given him a glance and a “thanks”, before barely paying him any more attention. 

The older had grown up unused to showing his emotions, and ever since he was a baby he had always been stone-faced. More or less only showing direct emotions in extreme situations, in other words, barely at all. Everyone around their high school had heard the story of Minho falling during a game, and being trampled by another player. _“The crack coming from Minho’s arm was so loud everyone in both the audience and on the field silenced. Still he didn’t shed one tear or complain at all when the medics came. At most I saw him wince, I would have been wailing.”_ Changbin had told him once. 

Jisung had obviously made it his mission to befriend him as soon as he met him. What he didn’t know was that he would they would end up so close, no one in their friend group understood or expected it. They discovered that they complimented each other nicely in the end. Of course he had to learn the hard way, like everyone else, that Minho was neither a man of many words, or actions for that matter. He liked to spend time with others, liked to listen, liked to bathe in the presence of his friends. He was always up to hang, but he preferred not to talk, just be. 

The younger had learned Minho probably got it from his father, they were almost carbon copies of each other. Jisung had only met him a few times, but when they did it was really not much more than a greeting. Minho’s mother on the other hand was cheerful, giddy and loud. _How could he take after so much from his dad, and nothing from his mom?_

And while Jisung and Minho were polar opposites, they shared an unremarkable bond. 

In the end, even if Minho hadn’t known the younger the longest out of his friends. He was arguably the one who knew Minho the best at this point, somehow. 

Knowing that the older wasn’t a big displayer of physical touches, Jisung tensed up like ice when the black-haired boy's head slipped from the wall and fell to his shoulder. He even went as far as to snuggle closer in his sleep. 

_What the fuck?_

It wasn’t that Jisung didn’t like it, it was just very, extremely, out of this world, unusual. But he couldn’t, or wanted to do anything, if Minho was so tired he even went so far as to sleep on Jisung’s shoulder. _He is pushing himself too much, this can’t be healthy._

With Minho on his right shoulder, he used his left hand to reach over and carefully stroke his hair. It had finally dried, it was silky and soft under his touch. He had never done anything to it. Compared to Jisung’s repeatedly dyed, slightly dry and in Hyunjin’s words, nearly dead hair it felt much nicer. 

The breath coming from his nose brushed against Jisung’s skin, and it was unfamiliar to him, seeing Minho like this. In a way, his heart both grew three sizes, and broke. 

In a stealthy move, Jisung managed to move both their computers and his books from the bed to his nightstand, never reaching so far he actually had to move. He glanced at his watch, seeing it was almost dinner time, no matter how sweet it was, he couldn’t let Minho sleep too long. He knew the oldest hectic schedule, and if his sleep got messed up, maybe he would just drop dead on the spot. But seeing he could let Minho sleep for at least a little while longer, Jisung was determined to make sure it was comfortable. 

Somehow, he barely knew himself, he managed to lay Minho down. It was a mixture of replacing his shoulder with his hand while also making sure he didn’t stir awake. 

Jisung began standing up, about to grab his computer from beside him, while he was still hungover, he _did_ have school work. His hand didn’t get very far, seeing as the older had grabbed it before Jisung was even properly standing up. 

“No-” he mumbled. 

At first Jisung thought he was awake, but his eyes were still sealed shut and the breathing was as slow as before. _He’s asleep..._ When Jisung tried to move again, the grip tightened. 

“Stay.” the older whispered even quieter, this time he furrowed his brows, as if he was dreaming about something unpleasant. 

Jisung couldn’t not take the opportunity, he laid down next to Minho on the small twin bed. They faced each other, but one was asleep and one awake. “I’ll stay.” Jisung finally answered him, after a while in absolute silence. Minho’s hand was still around Jisung’s, and he found no point in fighting Minho off. 

As if the world had stopped around them, Jisung grabbed his phone, put a timer on 30 minutes. _Might as well sleep._

Seeing how tired Jisung was himself, after deciding he would sleep too, it couldn’t have been more than two minutes before he was in deep slumber, probably even deeper than Minho. Maybe in this moment, the world had actually stopped. 

Voices murmured outside the door. It was still unlocked, naturally, knowing Jisung’s nature. It was Felix and Changbin. 

_“Felix I swear you left your key at my dorm, should we just go back and get it? Isn’t Jisung inside, let's just knock.”_

_“There is no music, Jisung can’t study in silence, he’s either dead or asleep, don’t even bother knocking. One could probably scream next to his ear and he wouldn’t even flinch.”_

_“Well have you tried the handle?_

_“Oh yea-”_

Within a second the door creaked open. This was the only time in his life Felix was happy Jisung wasn’t responsible enough to lock it. Though the couple was prepared to find Jisung sleeping inside, they hadn’t expected to also find another one next to him. Not only having their hands intertwined, but also sleeping so close their faces would crash together if one of them moved just a centimeter closer.

The couple in the door were completely stumped, Changbin had known Minho for so long he could remember, and never in his life had he seen Minho like this. 

_“Oh...my...god.”_ Felix whispered. 

Both wondered what they were supposed to do, wake them, close the door and pretend like nothing or just proceed what they had come here to do? After watching them for a while longer Felix almost let out a laugh. Changbin covered his mouth. 

_“Babe, grab your key, I’ll take pictures, then we will get out of here. Ok?”_ Changbin smiled like a devil, finding the situation more amusing than anything. If Jisung wasn’t in fact one of the victims this time, he would have found it absolutely hilarious too. 

Felix and Changbin had left the dorm since long when the alarm blared from Jisung’s phone, laying between them. Minho shot up immediately, and let go of Jisung. He brushed off his hands on his t-shirt, like he was trying to swat off Jisung from them. When he looked at the clock hanging above Jisung’s bed, and he realized how long he had been here he wasn’t even remotely careful when scrambling up from Jisung’s bed. 

He had panicked, while trying his best not to show it he gathered his things, throwing them in his bag, his face both screamed “calm” and “anxiety”, if possible. Now that Minho was on his feet, Jisung awoke too. 

Seeing the younger awake, Minho simply made sure he had all of his things, and without much further thought he left. While trying to seem calmed, he accidentally yelled instead. 

“Sorry. I need to go. Bye.” 

It took Jisung 10 minutes to even process what had happened. When he did he just shook his head, trying to clear it. And when he looked at his phone he noticed the amount of unseen messages, all in the group chat with him and his eight friends. While backreading just a word here and there he didn’t understand much, but when he scrolled all the way to the first text it was, to his surprise a picture of him and Minho. Underneath it with a caption, sent from Changbin of course. 

**_“Felix and I thank Jisung for never locking the door.”_ **

Jisung cursed to himself, looking at the picture like this he suddenly reminded himself what he and Minho had actually done. It was so strange for the two of them that the two in the picture felt like strangers. The rest of texts were mostly the others ruthlessly bullying them, or laughing at the strange situation. 

_If Minho hasn’t seen it yet and died already, he sure will._

Jisung did his best at ignoring it, really, this wasn’t actually weird. Jisung was tired, Minho was tired, so they slept. Nothing more, nothing less. 

Except that of course they held hand, and everyone knew Minho didn’t do that unless absolutely necessary. Actually they hadn’t even seen him _hug_ anyone since Jisung, Felix, Seungmin and Hyunjin graduated high school. 

_It’s too much to think of, too much._

It was even harder not thinking about it when Jisung’s bedsheets were practically drenched in the mixture of the pine perfume Minho wore, and the sweet one Jisung wore. The scents shouldn’t mix together. 

It was impossible for Jisung to ignore that, during the night when he tried to fall back asleep, he started growing fond of the mixture. How, weirdly, he loved them two together. He almost wanted to get used to this. The pine and the sickly sweet scent. 

The wood and the sugar. 

_Minho and...Jisung?_

Weeks passed and everyone forgot soon enough about the incident, as Jisung began calling it. Though the first few days after it, Minho was mainly the one being pestered the most. Especially by Changbin, who for a while, couldn’t even go a minute without pointing it out. 

_“So when am I getting hug from you.”_

_“Did you hit your head, was that why you were so weird.”_

_“Wait...are you dying? Is that why you are so cozy?”_

It was also the first time everyone could see anger flash across Minho’s face so clearly. Felix even feared his boyfriend would get buried six feet under if he continued. They didn’t care much that Jisung was the other one, used to his overly love or physical affection. That he was asleep holding someone's hand or cuddling wasn’t an unusual sight to see. He wasn’t affected as much either by the teasing, to almost everyone's disappointment. 

Jisung tried to figure out if Minho was actually embarrassed by it. When their friends brought it up he could spot both a blush on the other’s ears and his breathing speeding up. Then he wondered if he was embarrassed because it was with him, because he was just uncomfortable with the situation all in all or if it was the teasing. 

He had thought about asking the older about it, but it appeared like Minho tried to change the conversation whenever Jisung mentioned it the slightest. _Better not ask, or not now._

As they were getting further and further into the semester everyone entered that period of time where they focused almost all of their awake time on school, with every passing day they crept closer and closer to their midterms. 

If they actually hung out with anyone it either to study, or that they were forced to be together, like Jisung and Felix who shared a dorm. 

For the first time in weeks Jisung saw Jeongin sitting by his desk when he arrived at home. He was mindlessly folding a piece of paper into tiny origami figures while talking to Felix. Jisung almost crumbled seeing his younger friend. 

“Innie...I missed you so much.” 

All of his things fell to the floor and Jisung even went as far as kneeling next to him and laying his head in the younger’s lap. Jeongin was used to this kind of behavior, getting the feeling that he needed it, Jeongin patted the dark blue hair a few times. The color had faded quite a lot, and his roots were growing out. Felix glanced at them from his bed, it almost looked like he wanted to join Jisung on the floor. 

“I swear, never start uni, it’s so much worse than high school. Become a stripper, escort, anything, not uni.” He complained, Jeongin shook his head soundlessly. 

“We need to really celebrate after these midterms, I think we’re all dying.” Felix complained. 

Like he had an epiphany Jisung shut up on his feet, almost knocking Jeongin over completely over in the process. 

“Wait your last one is next Friday right? Mine too.” He said, eyes lighting up. 

“Mm yes, I think everyone has their last sometime next week.” 

Jisung paced around the room, eyeing both Jeongin and Felix. Deep in thought. At last he sat down in Felix’s bed next to him. He waved Jeongin there, for him to sit with them. The younger complied and came, seating himself to Jisung’s left, while Felix was on his right. 

In an accidental unison they asked; “What?”

“So next week on Friday, when everyone should be done with their midterms we meet up at Woojin’s apartment. We will buy a shit ton of alcohol, then we’ll go to that bar down the block from his apartment,” 

He looked at them both, seeking confirmation, both nodded, but as Felix opened his mouth Jisung continued. 

“I’ll ask Woojin if it’s okay, but it probably is. I’ve already thought of everything. Chan is probably crashing at Woojin’s. Leaving us 7, I’m sure Hyunjin and Seungmin will walk home seeing that they have habit of walking themself sober after a night out.. Minho can drive Jeongin home, Changbin is probably sleeping here right? Then everything is fixed. I’ll treat everyone hangover drinks later.” 

He had thought of everything, even going as far as telling them about the perfect food to eat beforehand and what brands of alcohol they can drink before the bar. _“Just to get started you know?”_

“But what about you?” Jeongin asked, now Jisung realized he had forgotten to count himself in. 

“Oh, I’ll sleep at Minho’s I guess, I don’t wanna sleep here with _them_ ,” he glanced over at Felix. “Otherwise I’ll just have to seduce some gentlemen and go home with him.” He threw the non-existent hair over his shoulder in nonchalance. 

The more they talked they grew even more excited, before they had even asked the others they were making playlists and deciding on clothes. 

Just as Jisung was about to send the text to their group chat, revealing their plans, Felix asked. 

“I thought about it, how sure are you Minho can drive us. Don’t you think he’s going to drink? It’s been a rough semester for him too.”

“He’s not drinking. I promise” 

Everyone knew he wasn’t one to drink. No one was _really_ sure why. Jisung had only told them that he didn’t react well to it, refusing to explain it further. No one was _really_ sure why Jisung knew but not them. 

Minho had been reluctant to try alcohol during all of their high school years, when Changbin and Jisung bought their first box of cheap beer he had simply watched them down it all through wincing grimaces and aggressive hiccups. Then they played card games, and even though Jisung and Changbin probably acted much more drunk than what they were, Minho won every single one with a great distance between first and second place. 

“Losers.” He had mumbled when he was picking up the trash and empty cans, though he had looked disappointed in them, Jisung managed to catch him smiling in his peripheral vision. Jisung was sure Minho hadn’t even noticed himself what he was doing. It was the first time he had seen the older smile like that. One corner of his mouth jerked upwards, like Minho saw his friends as stupid babies, somewhat endearing. 

They still didn’t know why Minho didn’t even drink one can of beer with them. Woojin had reminded them that maybe Minho just wasn’t comfortable drinking before he was allowed to do so. So, whenever Jisung, Changbin and Minho met up with Chan and Woojin and they managed to steal alcohol from their parents or buy beer from shady men outside the supermarket during Minho’s last months of high school, Minho was the only one who didn’t drink. He would watch them either pass out or be the one responsible for the rest. 

But even when Minho graduated high school and moved onto university he kept his strict “no drinking” policy, instantly becoming the groups designated driver slash babysitter. Sometimes he was lucky when Woojin refrained from drinking too, seeing as they could share the responsibility. 

When Jisung was visiting them once with Felix, Jisung can vividly remember how it was just weeks before their junior graduation. When the older ones treated them with _some_ alcoholic beverages, the average game night took a quick turn. Jisung had never told anyone what happened that night. 

He never ended up getting _drunk_ drunk, but he was far from sober too. 

Now, he wasn’t Felix and Changbin, who both were nearly blacked out before 11 pm. He wasn’t Woojin either, who claimed he had too much to study, and holed up in his room instead of being with them. Jisung was giddy, had energy surging through his veins, he was dragging a tired Chan around the room dancing. Even trying once with Minho, being shot down immediately.

At the end of the night, before the still conscious boys went home, they decided that Changbin and Felix would be left at the then Chan and Woojin’s dorm for the night, Minho finding it too troublesome to bring Changbin and Felix back.

_“Hyung can I sleep in your dorm? Please, I can’t fit here.”_ Jisung had put on his most pleading facial expressions. Deep down he knew the older would say yes even if Jisung didn’t beg so, but he could clearly not think straight.

 _“Yes.”_ Minho had answered, but he couldn’t quite look him in the eyes. 

The reason that Jisung had never told anyone this story wasn’t because he was ashamed of his non sober self, or that he was pestering Minho about sleeping at their dorm. It was because of what happened _at_ the dorm, it was one of the few times in his life he would wake up the morning after and feel a blanket of pure shame wash over him. 

He and Minho had arrived at his dorm long after midnight, as Jisung had forced the older to drive him to buy food first. As soon as the door opened Jisung rushed in and threw himself on Minho’s bed, careful not to let his shoes touch the sheets. He was so exhausted he thought he would die on the spot. So when Minho told him repeatedly to get off and sleep in Changbin’s bed instead, 9/10 words simply entered one ear and exited the other. 

It was the truth that he actually very, _very,_ tired, he was also drunk, but he was still clear in the head. In fact, he remembered this moment more than he did than some life changing events. 

Minho had walked up to him, presumably to somehow force Jisung off, when the younger simply grabbed his hand, intertwined them and dragged Minho down. Whispering through an almost closed mouth. _“Lay down with me please. Please. Pretty please.”_

The older never answered but Jisung took the silence as a yes, sure Minho would say no if he really didn’t want to. With a forceful pull he dragged Minho even further towards him. And seeing as he had close to no choice Minho _did_ lay down next to him, when Jisung was sure Minho was staying he rolled over to his side. Faced Minho properly, smelled the pine, felt his presence just there. With his free hand he grabbed Minho’s cheeks and forced the older to look at him, even though Jisung himself had his eyes closed. 

_“Minho-hyung. I really like you.”_

Then he fell quiet. 15 minutes later when he hadn’t uttered another peep Minho squirmed out of his hold. Of course he didn’t know that Jisung was wide awake, but just to afraid to speak another word. He didn’t know where the confession came from, or what it meant. Whether it was his usual assurance that he just really appreciates his friends, or if it was something else. 

He was still wide awake when Minho pulled off Jisung’s shoes, and placed them by the door, when he made sure Jisung was properly tucked in underneath the sheets, when Minho threaded his hand through what he thought was the sleeping Jisung’s then charcoal hair. He was still wide awake when Minho finally laid down in Changbin’s bed and murmured; 

_“You will be the actual death of me.”_

Of course, if Jisung was actually asleep it wouldn’t have been a problem, then he wouldn’t have to lay and think of Minho whispering the words the entire night. 

After this Jisung pretended like he had never said a word close to _“I really like you”._ Of course Minho did the same. To them, they basically just came home and fell asleep. 

It would have been easier to forget the situation better if the future were a bit nicer on them, not more than 4 months could’ve passed before the next disaster was to occur.. 

The night of the first time Minho ever drank came. 

Some people barely drink their first time, maybe to try their limits carefully. Some people have their friends with them, making sure they don’t go too far. Some people even go as far as drink so much they end up in the hospital the first time. Minho was not really any of them. 

He had agreed to two cans of beer during the warm up with Chan, Woojin and Changbin. They all widened their eyes in shock but handed them to him with enthusiasm. _“Stop staring,”_ he had gritted when he felt the 3 pairs of eyes burning holes in his skin while he opened the first one. 

It was bitter, he was definitely not a fan, but it was not horrible either. Two cans soon turned into four, and then one shot of soju. Changbin was ecstatic when he sent updates to Jisung the whole night, who unfortunately missed this.

_“He’s starting to become flushed.”_

_“He can’t hide it.”_

_“I swear he is slurring now.”_

_“Bathroom break again.”_

Woojin even pointed out that Jisung was the one who would become the grumpiest missing out on Minho’s first time drinking. 

Minho could only scoff. _“It’s not like-not like I care.”_

The facade of him being stone-faced was breaking slowly. If Jisung was here he would obviously notice in seconds, it took the others far longer. 

Once he stepped inside the bar it was quite different from other times, he’d been here thousands of times before, but I was the first time he walked up to the counter and ordered something for himself. Then something more. Another drink here, and one there. 

It was fine, though he mostly looked the same everyone noticed him holding back a smile forming on his lips when Woojin told a corny joke or when Chan held his hand over his heart and sung his heart out. They all thought Minho’s first time drinking would be one of those successful ones. 

Then Changbin accidentally slipped up. 

_“Wait Woojin-hyung don’t you know that kid Jisung talked about? Jeongin? You know the one his new frie- Seungmin introduced him to. Jisung was talking about how cute he was. Do you have pictures.”_

_“Yeah yeah his parents are really good friends with mine, he’s a bit of Jisung’s type isn’t he? You know the prominent jaw and sharp eyes and all that.”_

_“Isn’t it crazy how we were all definitely destined to be friends. Minho even knew that Hyunjin dude Felix had met in the dance club.”_

They continued on and on, of course the topic changed quickly but Minho’s were stuck in the past. E.g he was stuck in the conversation they had 10 minutes earlier. _Jisung thought he was cute. He is Jisung’s type. He is. Jisung is._

Without much further notice he stood up and walked over to the bar, none of the others noticed anything too different in his behavior. 

It was unfortunate Jisung wasn’t here. If he was he would probably joke about the stench of jealousy that reeked of Minho through the tough layers of his personality.

_“Strongest and cheapest thing you have. Thank you.”_ Minho had mumbled to the bartender, the drink he was presented with was almost neon pink and it tasted sickly sweet. Yet it took barely 30 seconds to drink it all. Instead of going back to the table, he, for the first time the entire night, stumbled towards the bathroom. As if all the effects of the alcohol finally hit him. Everyone around him who noticed him likely thought he was just yet another drunk dude going to throw up. Even Chan noticed but only whispered; _“Going puking now. I would go help but knowing Minho he’d probably rather be alone.”_

He nearly fell down on the toilet seat, locking the stall door behind him. Sitting down again he could feel the whole room spinning. The dirty white walls moved and the lights on the ceiling made the bathroom fall into an uncomfortable dim aura. He had to grab the walls next to him with both his hands, afraid he would simply just lose control. His knuckles were nearly turning white, he was afraid he would break them. _I can’t do this. Home. I need home._

The phone rang two times, then the one on the other side answered. 

“ _Minho-hyung...ahh are you here to tell me some embarrassing drunk stories. How is it?”_ Jisung’s voice floated through the speakers, and Minho let out a breath he was holding. 

_“Jisung. Help me. I’ll pay for a fucking cab or something. Please come.”_

Jisung’s voice hitched on the other end, like he hadn’t expected an answer like that. Still, without hesitation he answered. 

_“I can come- don’t worry. I can’t go in so you have to go out when I text you. Can you do that?”_

_“Yes.”_

_“I’ll be there soon.”_

Once the text came, the room wasn’t spinning anymore and he had heard the door to the bathroom open and close about 500 times. 

Minho didn’t do more than walk to the table, grab his jacket and go to the entrance, hearing Changbin protest behind him. _“Where are you going?”_

_“Home. See you later.”_

Jisung stood in his thin jean jacket outside, barely coming near the entrance. He was still just a high school senior. Once Minho saw him his steps got quicker and his heartbeat stronger. 

He embraced the young boy in a tight hug. His eyes were glossy and red, but he hid them behind the black hair falling in front of his face. 

Minho. Minho who never went further than a side hug, a pat on the back. 

Jisung could smell the strong pine, the sweet liquor and the bitter jealousy. 

_“Let’s get you home huh. Already got us a cab.”_

The olders entire body was shaking in car, not because he was freezing. There was just so much. Jisung had been reluctant the whole time whether or not he should have been touching Minho, like holding his hand like he did with Felix or Woojin or keeping a supportive hand on his shoulder. 

Genuinely for the first time in his life Jisung didn’t know anymore what he would do with Minho. He had always known him the best, always. He still did, it was just that he was hit with the realization that he maybe didn’t know that much. 

Jisung held his arm when they walked up the stairs to the elders dorm, though it was loose, barely existent. 

Minho stood still inside, never walking more than two steps once inside. He covered his face with his hands and sighed, like he had done 15 mistakes in the past five minutes. The younger didn’t even hesitate when he crouched down and began untying his sneakers. When he placed a bottle of water on the floor next to his bed and when he made sure Minho was warm underneath the sheets. He was still bloodshot in the eyes, and refused to meet with Jisung’s. His entire face looked red in shame. 

_“It’s okay hyung. To be vulnerable.”_ Even though he smiled, his voice was somewhat solemn. 

_“Shut up.”_

The younger chuckled a bit, like music in Minho's ears. He almost wished he was funnier, if it meant he could hear the sound of that more often. 

_“Hyung, I’m sleeping in Changbin’s bed tonight. Tell me if you’re dying or something.”_

The body that previously weighed down the mattress slightly disappeared, soon the lights went out and Minho could hear the younger lay down in the bed on the other far end of the room. 

Finally tears started rolling down Minho’s fair face in silence, not even a hiccup or sob escaped his lips. Underneath the sheets Minho clenched his fists so hard he could feel the skin breaking on his palms. 

After a while in silence he spoke. Voice breaking right in the beginning, exposing that he had been crying. 

_“Jisung....I’m sorry but...I also really, like y-”_

_“Hyung, don’t say anything you are going to regret tomorrow.”_

Then they silenced. Minho’s pillowcase turned wet and his palms bloody. Jisung’s breathing slowed down until light snores came from him, finally disturbing the silence.

When Minho woke up the day after it was right past noon, his head felt thick and the sunlight was too bright. Jisung had already gone home. Minho could spot small specks of dark brown stains and red crescent marks on his palms. In the group chat Jisung had sent a picture of a sound asleep Minho, furrowed eyebrows but cold face. 

_“A hungover Minho spotted for the first time in existence in a few hours.”_

They never spoke of those two days again. 

Minho vowed to _never_ drink more than 2 beers ever again. Never. 

Jisung and Minho shared a small secret, though it wasn’t one they wanted. Both were somehow convinced they could just pretend it never had happened. 

  
  


Jisung looked at present Felix once again. He repeated. 

“He is not drinking,” even though he hesitated he continued. “I’m sure of it.” 

They all agreed. 

Somehow they had to come up with a way to celebrate. What would be better than doing so at an almost decent 3-star rated bar on the corner of Woojin’s block?

“I think we are peaking in life. This is the peak, it’s all going downhill from here.” Chan mumbled from his seat on the floor, swirling his glass around and watching the liquid inside it move like a wave. 

“Stop being depressed, I can’t take it after a 3-hour midterm.” Woojin slammed his can on the table. 

It was only 5 pm but the two oldest ones had already begun drinking. Felix, Jisung and Hyunjin were holed up in the bathroom, all fighting to stand in front of the small and dirty mirror, attempting to perfect whatever makeup they were going with. The slightly dim fluorescent light wasn’t helping, and neither was the fact that it almost looked liked their three heads were stacked on top of each other. Even worse, with Jisung at the bottom, getting the least light and the worst view of himself. His reflection was staring right at him, his face was normally clear and smooth, he had always been free of obvious pores. Tonight an aggressive red pimple had formed above one of his eyebrows, driving him absolutely mad. _The timing is cruel. Too cruel._

Because of the pimple, seeing as he was a little bit too paranoid, he had decided to go light. Barely concealing his face, and going with a softer look for his eyes, the copper eyeshadow making his eyes look rounder and softer. The corally blush blending into his skin so nicely it looked nothing more like his face was just slightly flushed red. When Jisung eyed his two friends above him, the makeup looked more or less unnoticeable in comparison. Hyunjin’s purplish eyeshadow so strikingly beautiful he looked deadly. The eyeliner accentuating the already somewhat sharp and thin eyes. His lips were glossy and almost sparkling underneath the light. _He’s gonna turn straight guys gay._

Felix on the other hand had, like Jisung gone much more natural. Not as much, but neither as fierce as Hyunjin. He had decided to let the freckles shine through the foundation and painted his cheeks pinker than what they already were, still, it only looked like he had been walking in the cold for a second. Matching the apples of his cheeks, the ends of his eyes were currently in the process of getting some faint pink eyeshadow brushed on them. In circles Felix moved the brush, leaving the pigment on his eyelids. Just on his under eyes, at the end, he added just a little bit extra of a redder eyeshadow. It caused the illusion that they slanted downwards a little bit, but when Felix added the brown eyeliner they turned back to normal. Only a little bit longer. At last Jisung watched Felix grab a small tube from his bag, it looked like lip gloss. But instead of applying it to his lips, he moved the small brush to his eyes and added a few strokes of it to his undereye bags. It left small specks of glitter, making them look bigger and eye-catching. 

“What’s that?” Jisung asked, only realizing after how he sounded like a child.

“I can’t remember what it’s called but it highlights your eyes, do you want some?” 

Jisung nodded, shaking the blue hair out of place on his head. Felix took the brush, told Jisung to look up and then applied some of it carefully to his eyes. Once done he observed the one in front of him in silence, almost admiring his work like a piece of art. 

Then at last Felix smiled at his friend. 

“There, now it’s done. You look perfect.” 

Jisung raised to his feet and pushed Hyunjin lightly away from the mirror to check his appearance one last time. Though he did have _that_ pimple on his forehead, he really thought himself of attractive. He stood and watched his reflection for so long Hyunjin finally pushed him out of the way and continued with his makeup, a slight frown on his lips from being disturbed earlier. 

Felix also went ahead and continued, seeing how there was more space in front of the mirror. Jisung just walked of the bathroom and looked at Woojin and Chan by the living room table, they were deep in conversation. Clearly talking about something with passion, but he didn’t really care too much about them. If they were like this it was going to be way too hard to shake them out of the trance. At this point, Jisung actually guessed neither of them would actually make it to the bar. If they were lucky they wouldn’t pass out before 9. 

He threw himself down next to Minho, who sat in Woojin’s very small sofa _slash loveseat_. Even if the actual sofa next to it was empty. They clearly ended up very close, appearing not to be very much to Minho’s liking. He pulled away as much as he could from the touch. 

“Am I pretty now? Even with my pimple.” Jisung asked, eyes wide and gullible, the older only glanced at him for a second before humming as an answer. Refusing to answer with clear words. Jisung huffed in discontent but stayed in his place nevertheless. He rested his head against Minho’s shoulder, making him tense up, and this time he never actually relaxed after a while like he used to do. Minho could smell Jisung’s perfume wafting in his direction, he wasn’t wearing the normal one that smelled like spring flowers and sugar, but it was spicier and stronger. Minho was in all honesty not a fan of it. He liked the other one better. 

“Hyung when are the others coming, I’m hungry.” 

“Don’t know. Maybe 20 minutes.” He never looked away from his phone. Even though Jisung tried to force him. 

“Too long. I’ll die before that.” 

Jisung knew in his heart Minho was fighting back the urge to tell Jisung _“then die.”_ he had said it many times before and would probably do it again. Before the older could answer him he pushed himself off Minho and the loveseat. Brushing his clothes off. 

“Nevermind, don’t say anything. I don't wanna hear.” 

Though Minho looked displeased just a moment earlier with Jisung by his side, now that he stood up and brushed the hair out of his face in arrogance, he smiled slightly, attention still fully on his phone. He found it funny Jisung knew what he was about to say. Once he realized he had also chuckled, and Jisungs eyes were on his face it fell again. He almost wanted to tell Jisung to not think anything of it. But the younger disappeared into the kitchen before he had the chance to even begin. 

Changbin, Seungmin, and Jeongin arrived 15 minutes later with endless bags of food. Everyone cramped together around the small table only meant for 5 people and began to eat. Woojin and Chan were simultaneously the ones who ate the most, and then the ones who stopped abruptly. Seeing how Woojin’s face turned pale and green for a second, everyone halted and looked at him, waiting for further reactions. 

Silence followed for way too long, then Woojin swallowed and looked around on the other ones. With the eight pairs of eyes, he took a sip of water and then looked at them like they were dumb. 

“Well you can continue, I’m not throwing up. Have _some_ faith in me okay?” 

Everyone laughed nervously, they had all shared the same thought, once Woojin looked fine again they continued eating, along with Woojin’s instructions to do so. 

It turned out Chan was the one who disappeared into the bathroom after eating, and after not coming out for more than ten minutes everyone started sharing knowing glances with each other, like _you know what’s going on, I know what’s going on._ But, even as Seungmin pushed his head and ear propped up against the door he couldn’t even hear a thing coming from inside, debunking their theories that someone was throwing up in there. 

“What if he’s dead?” He whispered to Jeongin, who stood next to him. 

“You think so?”

“It’s possible, it’s dead quiet in the-” 

Seungmin’s entire body fell forward when Chan opened the door, barely catching him in time. He looked confused suddenly having his friend in his arms, yet something in him was completely used to this. Knowing very well that Chan was far from sober and probably couldn’t take his entire weight, Seungmin quickly stood up again.

“What are you doing?” Chan asked.

“Making….sure you aren’t dead?”

“I...appreciate the concern,” he walked out of the bathroom and into the living room. “shall we get started now?” With a loud pop, he opened neither his first, nor his last beer for the night. 

Changbin commented on how he had already started, but everyone ignored him and followed in Chan’s footsteps. They were sitting around the table, empty cans surrounding them and cards spread all over. 

Once they were all, except Minho and Jeongin who were sober for the night, drunk they took their time getting ready for the last time. Seungmin was obviously the first one ready by the door, jumping up and down waiting for the others to get done. 

One by one they gathered by the door, struggling to find various shoes, making sure they had everything with them, one last bathroom break, and someone forgetting yet another thing. From the point where Seungmin first stood by the door up until everyone was finally outside and walking down the street there had probably been 20 minutes. 

Jisung was walking with Hyunjin and Woojin when they first got outside, but he quickly fastened his pace and hurried up to walk by Minho’s side. When he was he promptly grabbed the others hand, making him almost halt completely. Though he didn’t try and force Jisung away he whispered under his breath. 

“What are you doing?”

“My hand was freezing.” 

A few months ago Minho had answered _“that’s on you.”_ when he was presented with almost the same situation. Though this time he didn’t say anything else, he let Jisung hold his hand until they reached the bar. Only when they were inside, did they separate. 

In fact, almost everyone scattered once inside, there were only very few occasions when they were actually all together _together_ when hanging out all 9 in bars. It was hard keeping track of everyone, especially seeing how Hyunjin and Felix loved the dancefloor while Woojin stuck at the actual bar, often conversing more with whatever bartender was working than his actual friends. This time was no different, once inside it didn’t take more than five minutes before they had all separated into different directions. The only one sitting still for most of the time was Minho. 

After half an hour of god knows what, Jisung seated himself next to him. His cheeks had become rosier every time Minho saw him, knowing it was probably the alcohol. 

“Minho-hyung. I always wonder. You never miss out on a chance hanging out with us whenever we go drinking, but you never do anything. Isn’t it boring?” Jisung leaned in close, shouting with a hot breath _way_ close to Minho’s ear. 

“No. I don’t mind it.” 

“Not minding something is different than liking it. Do you?” 

“Mm...yes..” He frowned, but Jisung didn’t take it as Minho being irritated. 

“Ahhh, I’m proud, you are showing emotions. Can I ask another thing?” Jisung chuckled and leaned in closer. “Do you like hanging out with me?” 

Minho was both happy the room was too dark for Jisung to clearly notice him involuntary blushing and that he noticed Chan stumbling towards the bathroom. He forced Jisung away a bit and stood up. 

“Chan needs help.” 

And like that, Minho was gone in a second, Jisung huffed, sad he had no one to tease anymore. Though his eyes locked in on another target, or rather, two targets. Changbin and Felix. They were on the way towards him, seeing this, Jisung was filled with some unexplainable mischievous glee. 

“Ah is it not my favorite couple.” 

“Please, are you like this again?” Felix asked when he sat down.

“Like what, I haven’t said anything.” 

“You are insufferable,” Changbin added. 

“Am not, a lot of people like me.” He crossed his arms and squinted his eyes. Both Felix and Changbin turned blurry. 

“Name one.” 

Jisung looked at them, and then scanned the room. Mouth forming into an “o” before coming to some sort of conclusion. 

“I for one, know, Minho-hyung like my company very much. And you two, do not even lie.” 

“Ah yeah yeah, Minho-hyung.” Felix whispered, then he looked at Changbin. Like was trying to prove a point in silence. Changbin shook his head and threw an arm over Felix. To Jisung it looked like they were communicating entirely through telepathy. 

“I take it back, I hate you, I hate couples and I will until I get a boyfriend.” He snarled at the two. 

“Yeah, please tell us, how should he be this time.” Changbin sighed and leaned back, like he was in for a long story. 

Jisung pondered for a moment and stroked his non-existent beard. 

“Well for one I have decided they need to be like a bit bigger than me, to make me feel secure. Not a giant, but like a lil’ bit taller and muscular. Someone who gives BOMB hugs you know. I do like a funny guy too, and someone nice, obviously.”

“Uh-huh.” 

Minho exited the bathroom, alone, Chan was probably still in there. Jisung locked his eyes on him. 

“It might sound weird since I like coloring my hair, but just dark and natural hair has been growing on me, and a simple but elegant face. Just, handsome I guess,” Once he realized he had been staring at Minho while talking about an _ideal_ boyfriend he laughed nervously, and quickly looked around the room to find someone else. His eyes locked on a guy with dark brown hair, probably half a head taller than Jisung, he looked somewhat familiar. “like him. I’ll go and talk to him haha.” 

He hurried out of his seat when Minho came back, they didn’t share more than a glance at each other. Minho observed the younger dance a bit on the floor, finding Hyunjin and Jeongin at one point and dancing with them before leaving and just being by himself. He was looking at something but Minho couldn’t clearly see what. 

“Is he okay?” He asked the couple. 

“Yes, looking for a boyfriend. He over there.” Changbin lazily pointed across the floor. Minho tensed and his entire face flashed red. 

_I am okay, Jisung can do what he wants._

Felix went to grab drinks by the bar. When Changbin was alone with Minho he asked, carefully like he walked on ice. 

“Are you okay? With, that?” Changbin nodded towards Jisung’s direction, he had begun dancing with the guy, and was laughing with his whole chest. Minho’s face tightened and he never answered. When Felix came back it was both absolutely perfect, and horrible timing. The three sat in front row seats watching Jisung suddenly stuck his tongue down the stranger’s throat. Felix barely reacted when Minho just went ahead and grabbed one of the glasses on the table and asked. _“Can I?”_ Without an answer he drank every single drop of it. Then he mumbled a sorry and went to the bar, telling Felix he’d buy a new one for him. 

The couple sat in shock, Minho had just gone ahead and downed an entire drink. In terms of alcohol, he had probably already reached his self imposed limit of two cans of beer. 

Yet when he came back to the table he carried both a new drink for Felix, and two glasses for him. Which disappeared as soon as they came. 

He stopped for a while. Seungmin seated himself next to Minho and watched the situation unfold for a while. 

Someone walked up to their table, it was neither one of their friends, nor someone they knew in general. She had wavy platinum hair that reached past her shoulders. Even though it was far into fall her clothes looked thin, the boots had high heels and the jewelry sparkled in the dark. Even with the heels she was shorter than them all. Everyone shared some sort of universal reaction. _Wow. Pretty._

“Hi, I just wondered if you’d like to dance.” She looked straight at Minho, whose composure had fallen together slightly after the alcohol. Everyone prepared themself to hear Minho shoot her down, and then her walking away offended. Instead, he struggled to walk past Seungmin and nodded to her. 

“Mm, I’m Minho.” His voice had dropped an octave or two. This _wasn’t_ Minho. 

“Seonhee.” Her smile was wide

They walked away together, and when they were completely out of earshot Seungmin whispered. _“So, not gay?”_ Neither Changbin nor Felix knew what to say. 

Seeing the situation unfold from the bar, Woojin came to sit down with them at the table instead. Even Hyunjin and Jeongin looked over the top confused seeing Minho on the dance floor, not with them but a _girl._

It was as if they had gone back to highschool, gossiping around a table, whispering into each other’s ears. _“Who is this? I didn’t even know he liked girls? I didn’t even know he could dance.”_

Minho was, to everyone's surprise a very good dancer. He held the Seonhee’s hand gently, at first they more or less just existed alongside the music, but as the time went by they got closer and closer. At last, her back was flushed close to his front, she led one of his hands along her body while the other was gripping tightly by her hip. Chan had even come out of the bathroom and seated himself next to Woojin. His face was some sort of mixture of confusion, acceptance and irritation. 

Almost with a gaping mouth they all watched him, the only one currently unaware was Jisung, who had moved to a corner of the room with the mystery man. 

“Did he drink?” Chan asked at last, eyeing the three empty glasses standing on the table, just where Minho had been sitting before. 

“Yeah.” Felix mumbled. 

_Idiot, fucking stupid, he doesn’t know what he is doing._

It was to say the least a little bit weird how fascinated and invested Minho’s friends had suddenly become with him. Everyone with big eyes and slightly judging faces. Neither Minho nor the girl, Seonhee, had noticed them, or if they did they ignored them. 

They watched Minho turn her around and lean in slightly, she was much shorter than him. 

Everyone exclaimed a quiet _“What the fuck?”_

Minho never got the chance to actually kiss her, it seemed a boy with blue hair hand in hand with a taller stranger interrupted them. It was impossible for the friends at the table to hear them so far away and with music creating a wall between them. Instead they had to stay content with watching their mouths move. 

“Minho-hyung, I didn’t know you danced.” Jisung said. He looked at the girl in Minho’s embrace, she was very familiar. He realized he had seen her by the football field around Minho’s practice before. 

“Mm, I do.” 

“Huh, anyways this is Byungchul.” 

“I know, we played football together before.”

Jisung nodded, slightly embarrassed he had managed to get together with someone Minho knew. A football player on top of that. 

Byungchul whispered something to Jisung, and then disappeared towards the bathrooms, a long line had formed outside. Jisung stood there in front of them in silence for so long it eventually turned awkward. 

“Ah well, I’ll go to the others...have fun I guess…” 

Minho nodded before he grabbed Jisung’s arm. “Uh...Jisung...I drank so I can’t drive you home, sorry.” 

“It’s fine it’s fine.” 

Jisung hurried away and scooted in next to Felix. He was now, like the other’s staring at Minho and the girl. Jisung stopped talking, he crossed his arms and watched the rest of the scene unfold. 

She wrapped her arms around Minho’s neck, and when they began kissing everyone turned their heads around, not really wanting to watch. Everyone but Jisung. He could instead feel his own bitter feelings seep out every single crevice, though he wouldn’t like to admit it. He had felt this before, except on Minho. It was jealousy. He grabbed the beer in Changbin’s hands and asked a quick “can I taste?” before drinking nearly everything. It was just in time for Byungchul to come back to Jisung, pat his shoulder a bit and ask him if he was okay. 

“Yeah yeah I’m fine, should we go?” He gripped his arm and stood up, soon he waved bye to his friends, winked at Felix in an attempt to look happy and excited before leaving with Byungchul. 

That was the finish line of the night. Soon after this, Minho and Seonhee left too. Then Woojin and Chan on their way back to his apartment. The remaining 5 just looked at each other and shared silent agreement to go home too, still happy with how the night turned out for themself. Like Jisung had predicted Hyunjin and Seungmin walked the entire way home. 

Everyone ended up at different places for the night, Felix shared the bed in his and Jisung’s dorm with Changbin. Before falling asleep he asked in a whisper, afraid maybe Jisung would hear him despite not even being here. 

“Do you not think that was… weird…?” 

“Yeah...I think I need to talk to Minho.”

  
  
  
  


When Jisung arrived at his dorm the morning thereafter Changbin was still there, spread out on Felix’s bed. The older looked tired, and didn’t acknowledge Jisung with more than a nod. Felix was sitting by his desk, the large headphones on his ears probably blocked out all noise, if he had even noticed that Jisung came in was still a mystery. Felix had never really become hungover, able to do just about anything the day after despite how little or much he drank. Jisung was the complete opposite, one sip and he would have a throbbing headache the day after. 

To Changbin, who was still the only one who had acknowledged Jisung, he mumbled that he would take a shower. All in all, it was understandable, he had spent the night with someone else, he was hungover, and probably not _fresh._ Truthfully, Jisung had already showered, but he wanted, needed to do it again. Byungchul’s perfume had stuck on him, it wasn’t nice at all, it was strong and smelled like a middle-aged man. Jisung hated it. As hot as he found the guy, he really couldn’t stand it now that he felt it soaked in his skin. 

He scrubbed until the skin turned red, he was almost afraid he’d start bleeding. The entire shower he had spent using the loofah dragging it over his skin, every crevice. 

_Get off me, get off me._

He had come out of the shower with rosy arms and dripping wet hair. Felix was out of his studying trance, and watched Jisung go over to his bed. It seemed like Changbin had gone home, there were only the two roommates left. 

“Hungover?” He asked. 

“Mm. So hungover.” Jisung threw himself on his bed and grunted against the pillow. 

“So how was it last night? Is the dude your future boyfriend or what?” 

“No. He asked if I wanted to hang out again, but I told him I’d rather keep it a one time thing. Is that mean?” 

“I don’t know...but why?” 

Jisung wondered, after a while Felix almost thought Jisung had died. In reality Jisung was quiet because he didn’t really know. Byungchul had been nice, he was funny and he was _really_ attractive. Even if they didn’t exactly know each other, he had seemed like a very good match to Jisung. And when asked on the spot, Jisung was simply speechless. Why didn’t he, what was wrong with him?

“I- it just, wasn’t right?” 

Felix was quiet, he let Jisung run his mind for a while longer. 

“So, what happened with Minho?” Jisung asked, his voice was quiet, but Felix heard him very well.

“He and Seonhee went home together a bit after you left.”

“Didn’t know he had it in him,” Jisung turned to his side and faced Felix from the other side of the room, his eyebrows were furrowed and one could almost mistake him for being irritated. Before Felix could say anything the other continued, almost as if he was thinking out loud. “And I know he isn’t a virgin or anything I mean we have played never have I ever and truth or dare million of times with him. But for him to just feel up a girl like that, I didn’t expect _him_ to do that. Out of nowhere.” 

The only thing was that it wasn’t really out of nowhere, Jisung just hadn’t realized it. If Minho never saw the younger kiss an old friend of Minho’s, or if he never drank the alcohol like he did, he would’ve never said yes to Seonhee’s request. Truth be told, if he never understood Jisung would go home with Byungchul, he would never consider going home with her. It was like a tug of war. Jisung pulled once, Minho pulled harder on the other end. 

If Jisung did this, Minho would do that. 

“And like, I don’t know how many times he basically does a backflip when I touch him. And I know he’s much more physical with me than with the rest of you, but god, I could never imagine him just going all in with a girl from nowhere. By the way, she’s had a crush on him since forever I think, her friend is like together with one of Minho’s team players. So like, she has-” 

“Why are you so mad?” 

_Why am I so mad?_

“I’m- I’m not..mad. It’s just, weird.” 

Jisung had barely realized how he was acting. Felix could only pull a confused reaction at his friend. Though he wanted to know exactly what was going on his head, seeing as his friend quieted down and turned to his other side. He didn’t know himself. 

Jisung had always prided himself in knowing Minho the best, that he always knew what was going on in his head. Once again, like that time a long time ago, he no longer knew. This time he wasn’t even sure what was going on in his head. 

_I’m not mad am I? Why would I be?_

He thought about it, let his mind wander back and forth. Trying to think logically, he came to the conclusion that he had no actual reason to be even the slightest irritated at Minho for doing what he did. So if he had no reason to be mad, maybe he wasn’t. His skin crawling and his sudden short temper on the subject, the fact that he could physically frown when thinking about it. 

He had no reason to be mad, yet, he was. As a result he simply laid in his bed for hours on end, sulking over his own behavior. If he were to tell Felix about it, who had just resorted to ignoring him completely, he was unsure if the reaction would be teasing, judgment or straight up him laughing at Jisung. Therefore, the best solution was naturally ignoring the problem. If he just pretended the conversation with Felix never happened, that meant he didn’t have to think about his own anger management issues. And then he could relax. 

Jisung was familiar with his own brain, of course. Thus, when he fell asleep he only had one thing on mind, or rather nothing. 

_This, never, happened._

Unfortunately, Jisung’s life had in some ways or another just brought him a series of unfortunate events. Not more than a few days passed, Jisung finally able to suppress everything from the weekend before. It was as if both heaven and hell was punishing him. 

He didn’t really think when he opened the door to his dorm, inside he was met with four of his friends sitting scattered in their room. Hyunjin and Jeongin cramped on Jisung’s bed. Seungmin in Felix’s bed and Felix sitting on his own desk chair. It was obvious when he entered that they had been murmuring back and forth, the entire room fell into an uncomfortable silence as soon as Jisung stepped in. 

From miles away people could sense the tension in the room. Jisung hadn’t even been inside for more than a few seconds before his stomach started churning and cold sweat to drip down his back. Solely based on everyone’s face Jisung could guess this had something to do with him.

Anxiety raised within Jisung, his mouth ran dry, practically begging for water. 

Jisung avoided everyone's eyes on him. 

“Hahaha what’s up?” It wasn’t a secret that Jisung was nervous at this point. 

“We really need to talk to you.” Felix said.

“What is this? A fucking intervention?” Jisung laughed, but irritation shined through. In an attempt to quench his thirst he drank almost an entire bottle of water. Watching his friends share secretive glances with each other. Still, when the bottle was nearly empty his mouth was as dry as it was before. 

“No- not really. It’s just, we have been talking and you will never tell us unless we ask,” Hyunjin began talking, but when he trailed off it didn’t seem like he knew how to finish. 

“We know you will never say anything about it unless we bring it up. But you really need to like, sort out your feelings for Minho.” Seungmin continued where Hyunjin had left off. 

“I’m sorry? My feelings for _who_?” 

“Don’t get us wrong Jisung, maybe we are completely wrong. But lately, or for a while it really looks like you are in love with him.”

Jisung was rather speechless, not even the water was interesting anymore. He could only switch his gaze between the four friends staring at him. He could only coax out an “um”. 

“Jisung, Jisung. Really, don’t see this as us attacking you. We just really tried to figure everything out. You got so _mad_ when Minho hooked up with that girl, like you seemed genuinely grumpy for 2 days. You haven’t acted normally since last Friday, when everything happened you know?” Felix was calm when he spoke, almost as if he had practiced what to say. 

“I’m- I’m actually, at a loss of words.”

“But like Jisung, if you _do_ like him I- we totally understand. You two have a very peculiar relationship-” Seungmin started talking again.

He closed his eyes, everyone’s voice eventually blended into one, Jisung could no longer hear who said what, or what was even said. Though it all came suddenly, something inside him had been preparing for this moment. If his friends weren’t the ones having the conversation with him, he would have had it soon with himself. 

Still, what came wasn’t some peaceful realization, of course not. He was overwhelmed, already emotional and stressed out of his mind. Someone was still talking but Jisung simply went ahead and interrupted whoever it was. 

“Okay! Wait! Fucking stop! First of all, even if I had any of these feelings for him, I really don’t think you ganging up on me would make me confess. Like, no offense, but what the fuck? Can you be a little bit considerate?” 

Felix opened his mouth, but Jisung held up his finger in turbospeed, silencing the freckled boy. 

“No! I am speaking. What went through your fucking minds when you thought that this would be a good thing. Huh? You thought I would get on my knees, wail my feelings out and confess how much I fucking love Minho? No! I’m not, not doing that now. Fuck,” for a moment it did seem Jisung could only spew curse words. He turned completely silent, turning his head around to see the reaction of his friends. He grabbed his things from the floor, his face was hot and though he couldn’t see it he suspected it being red as a tomato. 

Jisung opened the door, but before walking out, hearing Jeongin, who had been quiet the whole time say something, he turned back to them. 

“Don’t bother, I’ll be back later, I want everyone gone. You to Felix. Fuck you all, I’m not doing this now.” 

His hands shook so much he didn’t even dare carrying his phone in his hands. He wasn’t even sure he was honestly mad. It was just that he didn’t exactly prepare to be confronted like this at 5 pm on a Thursday. 

Jisung ended up in the library, it turned out he studied great when he was emotional. An hour or so in he remembered that one time Chan said he never worked out better than what he did when he was angry. 

_If it’s gonna be like this maybe I need them to piss me off more often._

The sun had been exchanged to a white pearl in the sky. Jisung always found it a nice surprise when he looked outside and he saw the moon being full, illuminating the otherwise dark night. The cold had come hard and fast, and when Jisung finally decided to walk home, it crawled in his fingers to call Minho and beg for a ride home. 

Thinking back to the _completely, dumb, useless intervention_ his friends had held against him earlier, Jisung decided in just walking the 30 minutes back. Hoping his friends had listened to him and gotten out of there. Truth be told, he really didn’t know what to do if he were to be confronted again. 

The dorm was as dark as the night outside. Felix’s bed was neatly made, like it usually was. Even Jisung’s was. It looked like Felix had cleaned the room before he left. It was a familiar coping mechanism the roommate usually had when stressed or upset, Jisung found himself feeling guilty, knowing he was the only who probably caused it. 

_I can’t think about that now. It was their own fault. Not mine._ He thought to himself as he laid down in bed. 

Jisung closed his eyes, finally realizing how exhausted he actually was. 

Of course, even in between the stage between sleep and awake his mind wandered off to the confrontation earlier. Even after Jisung had tried to avert his mind elsewhere, he ended up there again. Thinking through what he had said, what the others had said. He was barely two steps away from falling into a deep sleep when his mind repeating something. 

_“-confess how much I fucking love Minho?”_

This time, when he really thought of it, the sentence carried itself a bit differently, meant something else. 

His life had been a series of unfortunate events recently, that one midterm he definitely flunked, the sheer disappointment when Minho hooked up with that _one_ girl, the awfully timed confrontation 

The dream he had, that night, when Jisung dreamt of someone who probably could caress his cheeks with porcelain hands. Who Jisung could tell was happy, sad or angry, despite the never-changing frown. Who Jisung considered one of his closest friends, who Jisung loved. Who Jisung was _in love_ with?

He woke up, the room was empty, his heart was beating so fast he was afraid it would jump out of his chest. 

For a third time, _“-confess how much I fucking love Minho?”_ meant something else. This time, in this context, much to Jisung’s own distraught, it was much more literal. 

  
  
  
  


Minho had been called over to Woojin. The message came from both nowhere, and seemed rushed. He had a mere 30 minutes he could spend with Woojin before his practice. Although Minho felt a dreadful amount of stress inside him, he decided that he would just hurry over to Woojin and deal with whatever it was. 

The apartment door was locked, when Minho knocked on the door it was as if the silence inside became even quieter. It was almost eerie. 

Woojin opened the door and let Minho in, when he entered, he didn’t expect both Chan and Changbin to be thrown on the sofa. Both seemed relaxed, but Minho could spot something serious in their expressions. It didn’t really faze him, he suspected one of them maybe needed help. 

“We need to talk.” Changbin said, but he didn’t look at Minho, who had seated himself in Woojin’s loveseat.

“Hm.” 

“This is an intervention.”

“For who?” Minho asked, he checked the time on his phone. 25 minutes. 

“You? We need to talk about you.” Changbin finally looked at him, the dark irises bore into his skin. 

“About what?”

Chan took over. “We have been talking, it feels like you maybe- maybe have some feelings for Jisung?” He sounded unsure, even more so when Minho turned to him with big eyes. 

“Listen Minho, we wouldn’t care and let you deal with it yourself. But damn, you are not dealing with it in a healthy way. Getting shitfaced and sleeping with a girl just because Jisung was “acting up”.” Woojin had dragged a chair from the kitchen to the sofa. Sitting on it and talking, keeping an eye on Minho the whole time. 

Minho crossed his arms, mostly because he felt dumbfounded. 

“I- don’t understand what you are talking about.” He denied everything, his voice was confident thought, almost unbreakable. 

“Minho don’t. It’s just about _painfully_ obvious at this point. Even if you don’t wanna admit it, please think everything through.” Woojin continued. 

“It doesn't even matter. Jisung is not even interested in the slightest. Seonhee is _nice_?” If he didn’t sound so unsure on the last word, maybe he would have convinced them. 

“Hey, please, listen to yourself. You can’t ask _us_ if she is nice. We just think you should talk with Jisung, like really talk to him.” Chan said. 

“Ridiculous. Jisung does not- he does not care for me in that way. Even if he did I wouldn’t care.” 

Minho was as calm as before, face still frowning, eyebrows furrowed downwards. In a way he looked almost bored with the conversation. Though his voice wavered a few times, one could not tell from his face that he was interested in any way. An outsider would think the three friends were in the complete wrong, with the way Minho reacted it sounded like the confrontation had landed flat. 

Inside, Minho could barely hear himself talking above the alarms blaring. It was as though something had been set off, and he had no idea how to turn it off. As soon as the others eyes weren’t on him he could feel his facade breaking, mouth jerking downwards in a deeper frown. Eyes stirring back and forth on everyone in the room. 

He had for a very long time, even if he hated to admit it to himself, wondered if there was ever a chance that Jisung _did_ feel something for him. The more that he liked to play with the idea, he had since long accepted and understood that Jisung just was overly affectionate, that the touches and whispers sometimes were just Jisung being Jisung. While he did sit and lie to his friends faces about not caring, he had also since long accepted that the childish crush that he had on the younger seemed to never disappear. 

As unhealthy as it was, he was, even though he never said it out loud, a strong believer in “if I ignore it the problem will resolve itself”. 

Chan said again “Minho, come on…” 

“I have practice, bye.” 

He stood up in a hurry, this was weird, everything was weird, he didn’t like this. He didn’t listen when Woojin said something as he exited the apartment and left. 

At practice he could spot some girls on the bleachers, they were familiar, the black-haired one with 04 on her back. The platinum blonde one, smiling at Minho the whole time. Seonhee. She had waved at him once, Minho wasn’t sure what to do except that he was filled with slight guilt. He nodded back to her, and ignored the bleachers completely for the rest of practice. 

He didn’t just feel guilty, he was in some ways too. 

Minho had started leading her on, with no real way to actually tell her that he wasn’t _that_ interested. She had been texting him quite frequently, and Minho wasn’t much different over text than in real life. More or less, kinda dry, and a bad converser. Why Seonhee could even stand Minho was a genuine question everyone had thought at one point or another, even if it was slightly mean. Even Minho himself had thought of it once. 

Therefore, when Minho saw Seonhee on the side of the field, talking to her friends on the bleachers, smiling at and waving at Minho and texting him after practice he was filled with an unreasonable amount of pure guilt. 

It was as if he had a mosquito circling his head, whispering things to him. 

_“Ah, again? You ignore the pretty girl..tsk tsk… so ruthless of you. Minho, Minho, Meanho. So mean so mean, what would people do if they knew the real you. Leading such a girl on when you are in love with a boy who doesn’t love you back?”_

_Get away from me._

After practice Gyu walked up to him, he looked far from happy. 

“What the fuck Minho, what’s keeping you so distracted? You missed like five passes, play like this during a match and I’ll bench you. You ok or what?” 

“Yeah I’m sorry. Won’t happen again.” 

“It’s fine, I know you’re a good player. We have our last match this season in two weeks. We can’t loose. Got it?”

“Mm.” 

In his peripheral vision he saw Seonhee trying to get his attention, filled with shame and guilt, he escaped the field and into the dressing rooms before she had the chance to talk to him. He had then pretended he never saw her text when he opened his phone. That it could wait a little bit. It was still unread even after Minho had sent an invite in the groupchat to his last football game. 

**_Minho_ **

**_“My last game this year is in two weeks on Friday.”_ **

**_Chan_ **

**_“Are you inviting us?”_ **

**_Minho_ **

**_“Clearly.”_ **

He was almost sad Jisung wasn’t the one who answered first. Between Jisung and Changbin, both had been his biggest supporter since long. It was a matter of time before one of them eventually would show up with a homemade sign to one of his games. Or at least, it used to be a matter of time. 

Minho went home late at night, only opening the text from Seonhee hours after she had sent it. He wasn’t surprised finding Felix in his and Changbin’s dorm, but was shocked seeing the younger boys’ eyes red and voice unstable. He never actually found the energy to ask Felix whether or not something had happened, seeing as he wasn’t his usual giddy self, Minho simply decided on just letting it be. He and Felix had never been one to talk about feelings. 

Before doing their own things, Minho _did_ mumble out a “sorry” to Changbin. The other had answered “for what?” but Minho had decided he wouldn’t answer. 

_For what?_

_God knows, I don’t._

The evil little mosquito was whispering reason after reason though. Even as Minho hid his face underneath his pillow and tried to drown out any sounds it was there. Impossible to kill. 

When Minho woke up Felix was already in the process of leaving the dorm, practically dressed and talking to a newly awake Changbin by the door. They both spoke softly and quietly to each other, Felix holding his hands firmly around Changbin’s naked arms. Still just woken up, Minho couldn’t possibly begin to process what they were saying, especially considering how quiet they were from the beginning. Right as Felix was leaving though, Minho finally picked up something. 

“Yeah I’m talking to Jisung today, he shouldn’t be mad anymore.” 

So they had fought.

Felix didn’t give Minho more than a quick glance before he left. He was happy Changbin just went to his own bed and pulled on his headphones, not really acknowledging that Minho was more than awake at this point. 

Minho realized that there probably had occurred something close with Jisung that was comparable to the “talk” his friends had had with him yesterday, whether it was something just between Jisung and Felix or if the whole gang had been dragged into it he didn’t know though. 

Judging from Felix state of mind yesterday and the dead-serious low whispers this morning that Felix would talk to him only made the anxiety within Minho to increase. If the reaction had been so bad that they couldn’t sleep in the same dorm, whatever happened couldn’t be remotely good in Minho’s mind. Without even realizing it he started to line up the different scenarios that lead to it. 

_If it were the four of them against Jisung, he probably felt cornered and got upset. He holds grudges, maybe that’s why he didn’t want to see Felix._

_Maybe Jisung got mad at Felix for assuming things, whatever it was. I know he doesn’t like that either._

He thought about it even more, thinking back at Woojin telling him it was painfully obvious that Minho felt something for him. 

_Huh, I guess it’s a possibility he was just so repulsed by the thought of me liking him he got upset that someone was even suggesting it. Fuck. Is it obvious?_

Felix had gone home, passing by his dorm before proceeding to classes. The dorm was obviously empty, he knew Jisung had classes just like him. Felix had some urge inside to just stay home the entire day, just to make sure he was actually home when Jisung got there too. 

He glanced at the clock hanging above his own bed, a long time ago he and Jisung had set it 15 minutes ahead, so that they, when looking at it, always was sure they got out of the dorm on time. Felix and Jisung had been friends for a very long time, knowing how the other behaved, Felix finally decided on leaving again. When he came back and Jisung was there, the other would be back to normal. Without everyone else there, they would probably resolve the problem themself, going back to how it is before they had the chance to fall back asleep tonight. 

Felix arrived back in the afternoon, seeing as the seasons changed faster than he could process it, the golden hue of the sun had already faded. 

As he had thought, he tripped over the messily placed sneakers when he came back, his roommate was sitting on the bed. Bopping his head up and down to whatever music was playing in his headphones, completely engulfed in the textbook in his hand. If it weren’t for the fact that Jisung was either highly observant or had an extremely bad attention span and picked up on probably everything that happened, Felix wouldn’t have been surprised if he didn’t notice he came in. 

The freckled boy sat down in his bed and faced Jisung, when he was completely settled, the one opposite of him finally put down the book and removed the headphones. It didn’t seem like he could face Felix properly though. 

In perfect unison they both sighed like they were about to speak, then they fell quiet waiting for the other to begin. When that never came, they once again, opened their mouth at the same time. 

“I’m sorry.” Their voices blended together perfectly, both widened their eyes and looked shocked. Both that they spoke at the same time, and that they were both apologizing. 

“Jinx. I’m sorry, you go first.” Jisung said quickly, the words floating together into a simple long word. Felix heard him though. Like Jisung had said, he began talking. 

“Ah Jisung. I’m sorry, we shouldn’t have attacked you like that yesterday. I guess we all thought it would be more comforting to have us all there if you wanted to let _anything_ out, but it probably felt more like we were suffocating you.”

Jisung nodded and even smiled faintly at Felix. He didn’t have to say it explicty out loud, but it definitely read something like _“I understand, it’s fine.”_

However, Felix continued, almost when Jisung thought he was done. “I am not sorry for what I- we said. I really think you need to talk with Minho, whatever is happening between you, feelings or not, need to be resolved.”

It was almost scary how Felix could get so serious, everyone was much more used to the carefree, clingy and laughing boy. 

“Mm. Actually. I wanted to first, like apologize for being mean yesterday. I just freaked. But, fuck, I really don’t wanna admit it. You weren’t _that_ far off.” 

Felix’s jaw _almost,_ almost dropped. Not that he was right, just that Jisung admitted it. 

“I genuinely don’t know, what I feel, like, I can’t explain what the fuck is going on inside of me. I am so annoyed by Minho and Seonhee like, being a thing. Buth _ugh_ what if I’m just jealous because I want something like it,” 

“But if I’m just jealous because of a _relationship_ I would be jealous of _you,_ and I’m really not.”

“That’s the thing, it’s always Minho. My stomach turns just thinking about him and someone else, that can’t be normal just between friends right? I’ve never gotten jealous of anyone, only him. That’s why I’m so unsure.” 

“I guess, that’s why it’s so hard to consider him as just a friend to me. But, I don’t wanna get hurt either.” 

Jisung’s voice finally faded out, like the seriousness of it increased when he admitted it to someone but himself, even saying it loud. Felix hadn’t talked for a while, but let Jisung run his mind. The freckled one stared at his friend for even longer when he was done, unsure what to do. What he wanted to say sounded too cliché in his head and his mouth felt dry when he opened it. Felix had known Jisung since they were in high school, he had seen him go through ups and downs, minor heartbreak and insufferable crushes. Yet, he hadn’t seen Jisung behave like this toward a friend. 

A _friend?_

Minho wasn’t just Jisung’s friend anymore. 

Something had been growing for years and it had just started blooming. Finally exposed. 

  
  
  
  


_“Do not, listen to me, do not tell anyone. Not even Changbin. You know what? ESPECIALLY_ _not Changbin because he’s gonna run his mouth and tell Minho immediately. If what I feel is lo- if I really have feeli- I need to sort through all my things before I talk to Minho alright? No- no Felix I won’t wait too long, stop giving me that look. I need a week. I got this. This stays in between us for now, capiche?”_

  
  


“The week is over Jisung.” Felix whispered it from his bed, the lights had been shut off for almost an entire hour, Jisung almost jostled up from the scare, he was sure Felix had been asleep. More so he had hoped the entire day Felix wouldn’t mention the whole “week” thing at all. 

“I know.”

“So?” Felix asked. 

“Um, you know the football game on Saturday, I think I’m telling him then. But like, nothing too dramatic, I don’t wanna put him on the spot.” Jisung answered, it was thoroughly thought out, and composed. In one way much different from how he usually behaved. 

“Good.” 

The week that had passed by since Jisung and Felix talked went by in both the speed of lightning and about as fast as a snail. Every day whenever the two were alone Jisung would pester his roommate with questions. _“Did Changbin say something about Minho and Seonhee? Do you think Minho was weird today? Was I weird today?”_ But whenever he was in the presence of his other friends, he pretended nothing had happened at all. In some ways it was like everything was _almost_ back to normal. Woojin overworked himself, Chan looked near death, Changbin and Felix behaved like the disgusting couple they were. Jeongin came up on the weekend, and when he left again in the evening after being pestered by everyone he promised to never come back, but they still got the “ _see you on the game next week”_ text from him. Hyunjin was all over the place one second and quiet as a mouse the other, Seungmin was, in Jisung’s own words, as annoying as he usually was. 

The only thing that was different was that Jisung blamed himself after every glance he threw at Minho, he almost felt dirty feeling what he did. He laughed and teased him like he did, but after his stomach churned and his chest got heavy. 

Jisung was afraid, he was afraid that if he did tell Minho what was going on, their friendship would be ruined. It’s the same old same old dilemma. But he was almost even more afraid he would never do it. He was afraid that he would have to watch Minho fall in love with someone else. Though he wanted Minho to be happy, he knew he wouldn’t be able to bear it. 

Snoring, light as a feather floated through their room. It was as if Felix had been holding out for as long as he could before he spoke, and as soon as he knew Jisung had decided to tell Minho, he had fallen asleep content with the answer he finally got. 

Instead, Jisung was awake until dawn started creaking again, he couldn’t relax enough for his own body to fall asleep. Throughout the whole night the nightmare scenario of Minho being disgusted, or hateful, or rejecting was flooding his mind. It was so vivid he almost thought it had already happened. When he finally fell asleep, the alarm on his nightstand rang barely 2 hours later. 

A week ago he had told Felix to let him sort through his feelings. The entire week he hadn’t slept for more than a few hours a night, his mind wildy occupying him with whatever it could. Either to torture him personally, or to stop himself from falling asleep and having to endure the torture in the dreamscape itself.

It was the day before the game, and seeing that it was Minho's last they expected at least a sign or two of nervosity. 

When Hyunjin and Jisung ran into him after their last class, his sports bag hung from his back and he was walking in the direction of his car. The three of them stopped. Minho was well composed and didn’t say much, he eyed Jisung multiple times throughout the short conversation. Before he left with his usual “I have practice” excuse, he fully turned his attention on Jisung. 

“Are you okay?” Jisung could physically feel Minho staring at the bags underneath his eyes when he asked. 

“Yes yes, don’t be silly. Off to practice, I want to see you win tomorrow.” Jisung smiled back, and hit Minho on his shoulder. It wasn’t much, but he almost let his fingers linger on the fabric of his hoodie. 

_Ridiculous Jisung._

They separated, and when Minho was long gone, Hyunjin also asked if he was okay. This time he crumbled, with a head lowered in shame and guilt he sighed. 

“No, I’m so tired.” 

Though Hyunjin was one of Jisung’s friends he had known the shortest, it didn’t mean they were _weren’t_ friends at all. They had had a few rough first weeks, never really getting along. Despite of this one they had grown to become closer friends that what they imagined from the beginning. Still, if Jisung ever had problems, Hyunjin was rarely the first person he would turn to. It was mutual though, Jisung was rarely the first one Hyunjin would go with problems.

In a ramble of words, Jisung more or less managed to summarize what had been going on inside his mind the past week. Flooding Hyunjin with all kinds of confession, everything from the crushing jealousy and the newly found out feelings. They spoke in hushed voices and only stopped once they were outside of Jisung’s dorm room. Only when the silence followed after the long talking did Jisung really realize how much he had said. 

“I’m sorry.” He coughed out before unlocking the door. 

“It’s okay, it’ll figure itself out one way or the other. I’m glad you opened up.” Hyunjin squeezed Jisung’s shoulder with his hand before waving goodbye and walking back out again. His lanky figure disappeared around a corner. Jisung was stood outside his room, releasing a breath he had held since they met Minho earlier. 

He walked into his room. 

Like that, another person knew, and the burden on his shoulders eased ever so slightly. 

Jisung contemplated whether or not he should have spent the rest of the night doing something productive, it really would have been for the best. Felix wasn’t home, and was presumably spending the night with Changbin, which meant that Jisung had the perfect opportunity to either study or finishing up lyrics. Instead he crawled under the sheets and propped his laptop up next to him, he barely scrolled through the “romcom” tab on Netflix before clicking on one. 

Romantic comedies, one of Jisung’s very few guilty pleasures. He always said he hated them, but he still ended up watching three of them back to back when he felt down. 

He fell asleep for the first time in a week before 1am to the sound of the main characters in whatever movie that came next professing their love to each other. One movie rolled onto the next one like clockwork, and when he woke up in the morning they had been running the entire night. Jisung woke up with the computer screen exactly how it was before he fell asleep, it took a few minutes for him to both move and process what was actually happening. A few more minutes passed before he sat up at considered completing the movie. 

Something turned in his stomach just thinking about watching yet another pair of main characters confessing to each other, and the movie ending with them together. 

Today was the day. 

Jisung feared his movie wouldn’t have a happy end. 

  
  


Woojin was the first one on the bleachers, he always was. Reserving seats for everyone else. They always managed to grab seats just by the field, the best view. Today was, needless to say, no different. Jisung arrived when everyone but him and Jeongin was there. Everyone was huddled close together from the cold. It was visible even from far that clouds of smoke emitted from everyone's breath. The sky had turned dark, but the bright lights from around the field made it feel like mid day. 

Jisung pretened like he didn’t see it, but from the corner of his eye he saw Minho speaking to Seonhee, from where she was sitting with her friends. One a brunette, one with 04 on her back. Seonhee. Minho looked stiff. Jisung slowed down, maybe to watch them for a second longer. Maybe to try and catch a bit of their conversation. 

_Hmph, whatever it is it must suck, hyung looks tooooo displeased._ He caught himself bridle at her. Sour jealousy reeked of him. 

Jisung barely made it up to them before Minho had finally walked up to the fence in front of them. Separating field and bleachers. Everyone was encouraging him and giving him compliments. Assuring him he could score countless goals and win the entire game. His face barely wavered but Jisung could hear when he was within earshot that he spoke softly, that his voice trembled, he was nervous. 

Jeongin arrived right when the game was about to begin, Minho’s coach had already begun his process of gathering the players. Minho and Jeongin said their “hi’s” before he announced he would go to his teammates. 

He gasped audibly when Jisung grabbed his wrist from across the fence. Jisung maybe even gasped louder, he didn’t even react on what he had done before his warm fingers wrapped around the other. 

_“Fuck am I confessing now? I can’t do that. Not in front of everyone. Why did I grab him then? Abort abort! Everyone already saw it! Minho saw it! Of course he did you moron you are still holding him. Let go!”_

Minho let out a confused hum and stared at the hand around his wrist. 

“Oh-oh, hyung. Crush it out there alright?” Jisung’s ability to switch from _panic mode_ to completely normal was quite shocking. With a cock of his brow, he continued. “If you win I’ll give you a surprise.”

“...Okay, cheer on me then.”

It wasn’t what Jisung, nor any of their friends had expected him to say. But heat exploded in Jisung’s chest when Minho told him that. Minho was already far gone when Jisung whispered to himself that _“I will.”_

There really wasn’t a lot Jisung knew about soccer. Sometimes Minho or Chan would force him to watch the world cup or championships with them. They (Chan, really) would spout out terms Jisung knew nothing off and point at the TV in anger. Jisung also knew that they used their feet, Minho was a midfielder and that he wore number 19 on the back. There really wasn’t much more than that. 

Jisung wasn’t interested in football really. 

Yet, he had never screamed in excitement more in his entire life. 

After Chan had whispered to him after Minho’s team’s first goal that “he passed the ball to number 06 scoring perfect. It wouldn’t have been a goal without Minho.” Jisung cheered so loudly he thought he would scream himself hoarse. 

“Fuck it up hyung!! Go win!” 

Then the other team scored, with as much encouragement as Jisung could let out, he tried to cheer Minho up. 

It was an hour into the game when Jisung noticed how there was maybe one voice overpowering his own from time to time. Seonhee knew all the terms, she knew what he was doing, like actually knew. She tried her best to motive Minho to do better. 

Jisung was petty, really, he just started screaming, whistling and clapping at Minho’s team. He stood up and grabbed the fence. He shouted. 

“You can do this hyung. I believe in you!” 

Minho flashed him a look, his face was scrunched up in focus, but he nodded at Jisung. He can do it. Determination they hadn’t seen on his face before spread. 

The game ended, Minho scored the final (and conclusive) goal. The entirety of the people on the bleachers cheered and screamed, they stood up and clapped.

Minho’s team hugged and tackled him, some even got teary eyes. Minho smiled. He flashed the pearly whites themself. It was rare, he was so happy, his stony exterior cracked. 

Jisung searched for Minho’s eyes, and Minho searched for Jisung’s. They met, Minho nodded. Jisung nodded. This was it. What they didn’t see was that, there of course was another set of eyes on the bleachers searching for the football players. When she understood they were somewhere else, something somber came from her direction. But, then, neither Jisung nor Minho noticed. 

Jisung was obviously the first one climbing the fence, he ran across the field and pushed his way in between players. He hugged Minho so tight, that the sweaty and already very out of breath man almost choked. Still the other’s larger hands found Jisung back and pressed tightly. 

“I won.”

“You won.”

They separated, but their eyes only saw each other. The field may have become full of cheering fans and proud parents and happy players, but Jisung only saw Minho and Minho him. 

“-wait, let me get my phone, I wanna capture this moment.” 

He met various people on the way back, Felix, Changbin, Hyunjin, all on their way to congratulate Minho. 

10 seconds maybe, 20 tops. That was how fast it all turned around. 

Jisung had grabbed his phone, he had turned around. He had met Byungchul. Byungchul? 

“Oh, hi what are you doing here?” 

“Remember that I used to play with them, gotta attend their last game of the season.”

“Of course haha. How are you?” Jisung was determined to multitask for once, and started walking back to Minho and his friends while keeping the conversation going. 

“Uhm, good. Actually Jisung-ah, sorry to come at you like this. I know you said you weren’t interested in anything more. But can’t you give me another chance?” 

Jisung was, maybe, barely 5 meters from Minho by now. The oldest eyes were gazing at Jisung intensely, but he didn’t notice. Now completely turned around, Jisung looked at Byungchul, eyes wide open. 

“Oh, _oh_ , I’m sorry-”

“Jisung please.” He grabbed his wrist. Jisung drew back. 

“No- Byungchul you don’t understand. I’m-” He wiggled out of the hold. “I’m in love with-”

Jisung turned back around. How long had it been? 10 seconds? 20 tops? 

Seonhee was obviously by Minho’s side cheering, player 04 from Minho’s team and his girlfriend in her tow. She was squealing and hugging his arm tightly. 

The field was in complete chaos, even just 5 meters from each other, the conversations became blurry and hard to hear. Minho had probably not even heard Jisung finish with “-someone else.” And Jisung had no idea what Seonhee said until he promptly stood right in front of him with everyone else. 

“So, what about that coffee date Minho-hyung? Tomorrow at 1?” She squealed, and looked genuinely happy. 

Put on the spot, Minho got red in the face, his face had turned neutral again though, showing not as much as one emotion. 

“...Sure.” 

Three pairs of eyes switched to Jisung. Felix and Hyunjin, who radiated pity. Minho’s dark ones searched for a reaction in Jisung, which he returned with that vinegary jealousy again, disappointment, heartbreak. Jisung stared at the grass underneath his feet. For the rest of the night he remained quiet, _off._ Minho never found out what the surprise was. 

Who would have known that Minho’s answer probably would have been completely different if he hadn’t seen Byungchul and Jisung, it probably would have changed if Minho wasn’t _just as_ jealous as Jisung. It probably would have changed if the chaos around them wouldn’t have suffocated Jisung’s love confession. 

The answer probably would have been different if the 10, 20 seconds tops, never acted out like they did. 

Jisung cried in Felix’s arms that night. 

Minho stayed awake with regret suffocating him. 

  
  
  
  


Minho felt hungover when he walked to the café the morning thereafter, he hadn’t ingested alcohol of any sort. He was, hangover, on regret? Minho had realized as soon as he accepted Seonhee’s date that it probably was a mistake. It wasn’t how it was supposed to play out. 

Even more so when something on Jisung changed right when he said yes last night. 

Even more so when Changbin mumbled “you gotta fix this” when he left the dorm. 

Even more so when he felt more and more sick to his stomach the closer to the date he got. 

This _wasn’t_ how it was supposed to play out. 

Minho wasn’t a very emotional person, he liked to keep his emotions inside, because he _used_ to know so well what he felt. Thus it was unecessary to keep on expressing it to others, however ridiculous it sounded, that’s what Minho had gotten used to. Emotions stayed inside. 

Except sometimes when he felt so happy after a win he thought his stomach was just about to explode, sometimes softness would escape from his careful touches and care when he tucked Jisung in. Now, pure _discomfort_ oozed from every single pore on Minho as he got closer and closer to the café. 

This was wrong, he knew it. 

He had to fix it. 

Seonhee was already in a chair when Minho walked through the door. He had spent five minutes outside calming down, letting his face relax. Her hair was straight, her make-up was beautiful and she looked a lot like someone straight out of “Vogue”. Yet Minho felt nothing, or well, he felt regret. 

She lit up when he sat down, he froze up. 

Obviously she noticed something was wrong, it really wasn’t hard to tell this time. 

“Are you alright?” She asked with concern laced in her voice, Minho felt terrible. 

“Seonhee, I-” 

Minho wasn’t good at _emotions,_ he wasn’t good at _expressing_ himself. 

“I’m sorry? I don’t think- I- like you very much.” 

_Too harsh Minho! Too harsh!! Stop! Shut your mouth._

“Or not like- what I mean is- I think you like me more than I like...you?” He cleared his throat. “I shouldn’t have said yes yesterday, sorry for...disappointing...you. I should have, uhm, told you sooner.”

“Oh. Uhm, well.” She looked both slightly taken aback and miserable. 

“Thank you for being honest.” She peeped out, face getting the more red she spoke. 

“I’m really sorry.” Minho assured. 

Seonhee nodded, it was barely noticeable, but she did. Then she started gathering her things by the floor, where she had put both jacket and handbag. She began standing up, but quickly sat down again. With her index finger slightly raised, she opened her mouth.

“Is it Jisung? Is he the reason?” She asked. 

“Huh?”

“He’s been cold and off since we met, he always stares at me like I stole his boyfriend right before his eyes. And you, _you,_ look at him, with- well- much more interest than in me.” 

“I- I’m, I don’t know.”

Then she finally stood up, maybe she was irritated, or sad, or downright disappointed.

“I hope you figure it out then.” 

She left, and Minho was now the one left. The café was nearly full, but he felt alone.

He sat in silence without ordering for a few minutes, before fishing up his phone and calling Woojin.

“..So,” He started, when Woojin picked up. “I told Seonhee I didn’t like her. And um- she asked if Jisung was the reason.” 

**“Is he?”**

“...Yes.” 

He had considered it for a long time, ignored it for even longer. 

He, Minho, was indeed very much in love with Jisung. 

Low static could be heard through the phone, Woojin was breathing heavily and it was obvious he was doing something, he stayed quiet for a long time. And Minho got unsure if it was him trying to get Minho to keep on speaking, or if he was literally speechless. Woojin took a deep breath. 

**“I uhm, talked with Changbin this morning. He had talked to Felix. Jisung is really upset.”**

“He is? Why” 

Woojin scoffed before answering. 

**“You are really dense huh? I won’t even say anything because it’s not fair to Jisung, but christ, you can’t be this dumb.”**

“...I’ll talk to you later, I gotta go home.”

They said their goodbyes, Minho hung up with something not sitting right in his stomach. Of course he could _guess_ what Woojin was talking about. He practically _knew_ exactly what it was. He had probably thought about it, imagined it, dreamed of it even. But Minho was insecure, not of his looks or his personality like many others, in fact, he was only ever insecure when it came to Jisung. 

He always escaped whenever Jisung tried to give him kisses on the cheeks, and when Jisung huffed at him when Minho refused, and went on to pester someone else. His immediate reaction was always. 

_“Oh no, is he mad? I could have just let him kiss me. It’s just a kiss.”_

After Jisung had confessed that _he really liked him_ , Minho had spent nearly 2 weeks convincing himself that it just wasn’t possible that he meant like _like._ If he was honest with himself, he was sure that Jisung could have grabbed him on the spot anytime and kiss him to death, and his brain would still come up with excuses. _He’s a very affectionate person._ So he was insecure, he was also insanely jealous, he hated when people stared at Jisung for too long, hungry eyes. He hated clubbing with Jisung because he _was_ a touchy person, if Minho couldn’t be the one by his side, he tried to find someone else, naturally. Sometimes, he could even feel some jealousy brewing if Jisung even got _too_ close to Jeongin or Hyunjin, just about anyone. Not because he was specifically touchy, Minho was just jealous because it was his fault he was never the person being touched like that. 

So he thought, he, was in fact often the one Jisung was the touchiest with. Whom he had no problem throwing his arms around, whom he always joked about being the best person to sleep next to, the ones who Jisung always assured was so handsome “one could just about die”, Jisung, who turned sour when Minho showed interest in someone else, and clingy and slightly possessive when someone else showed interest in him. 

Minho was dense, really, but he wasn’t _that_ dense. 

He was still sitting in the café, it had started filling as lunch came closer, the baristas behind the counter had started to look at him weirdly. They had watched Seonhee come in, then him, Seonhee leave, and then Minho going through about five different life crises, all in the span of barely 10 minutes. 

Minho grabbed his head in his hands, like he had realized all of his life mistakes. 

_Oh god, oh god, shit._

He dialed the number to Jisung, but got no answer, he considered calling again. But if Jisung didn’t answer the phone, he was either dead, asleep or simply ignoring you. 

The next best choice was Felix. It dialed three times before he picked up. 

**“Yeah?”**

“Hey do you know where Jisung is?” 

**“Aren’t you on a date with Seonhee?”**

“No. Where is Jisung?” 

**“He just left the dorm like 2 minutes ago, said he was going to the library.”**

“He takes bus 19 right?” 

**“Yeah, why?”**

Minho hung up, collected himself for a solid five seconds, then he ran out of the cafe. The nearest bus stop he knew was nearly a 10-minute walk from here. Math had never been Minho’s forte, but he guessed that if he ran, he might just catch the same bus as Jisung to the library. He was a fast runner on top of that, 

He didn’t even break out in sweat, yet when he turned the last corner and the bus stop wasn’t more than 15 seconds from him. The bus with number 19 closed its doors and was already on its way to drive back out on the street. Minho didn’t catch it. The bus was far gone when Minho finally ended up by the bus stop, after walking the last bit defeated. 

The empty bench by the bus stop looked inviting, when he sat down he leaned back. Stared at the sky for a few minutes, considering if it was worth running the entire way to the library. 

Or if he should just give up. 

He tried to call Jisung again, it dialed until he was sent to voicemail. Minho was now sure he was ignoring him, he was neither asleep, and probably not dead either. He remained seated for another few minutes, the glass on the bus stop was frosty, and he hadn't actually realized how cold the weather had become. 

_Jisung probably doesn’t like this._

Minho put his hands in the pockets of his jacket, in the bottom of one of them he felt a large soft ball, when he pulled it up he remembered it was his bunched up gloves, black and simple. 

In his peripheral vision he saw another buss pull up. 325, and right behind it another followed tow. Bus 19. 

_Oh._

It’s rush hour, bus 19 traffic all the central stops around campus and in town, of course it arrives every five fucking minutes. Minho missed one of them and thought his life was more or less over, and here another one came. Not quite, but it still felt a lot like it was a golden carrier. About to bring him to heaven. 

Minho was the first one by the doors, the bus was full. But it wasn’t so _full_ all the seats were taken. Squinting his eyes he searched for something he didn’t even know was there. The blue hair, maybe the bright red padded jacket Jisung often wore, or the white headphones that often rested on his head. 

At the far back, Jisung let his bag rest on the seat next to him. His attention was turned out the window, he probably didn’t even notice Minho until the older stood next to his seat with shaky legs. He lifted the bag and sat down next to Jisung, placing the bag back in his lap. The other one widened his eyes and carefully took his headphones off. It was apparent from the still pinkish eyes and the bags underneath them that he was tired. That he wasn’t great. 

“Hyung?” 

“Uhm, I know you don’t like the cold. So I brought this.” He fiddled with the gloves in his hand, even now, he couldn’t just _say_ it. 

Nevertheless, Jisung took the gloves from his hands, he turned them around a few times, like he was examining them. 

“Aren’t you supposed to be on a, a date?” 

“No.”

“Oh.” _Oh._

“I don’t like her that way.” 

_Oh._

Jisung looked at Minho, the dark cedar met with Jisung’s mocha. Minho’s face was slightly red, from the cold, because of the run, because of Jisung. Still his face remained cold, his breathing was as stable as ever. Nothing out of place. Minho was Minho.

Jisung had always prided himself in knowing Minho the best, understanding what he felt, picking up on signals the others didn’t. What was going on inside his head at all times. 

This time he wondered if he either truly didn’t know anymore, or if he knew exactly what was going on. His mind didn’t want to believe the second one. Jisung gulped and broke the eye contact. Minho’s eyes remained on him, moving up and down his features. His eyes were relaxed, almost lazy looking. 

“I’m sorry I guess.” 

“Don’t be.” Minho was strict, his voice sure of himself. But Jisung _did_ notice that his lips trembled when he spoke. He _was_ nervous. 

Ignoring him completely, Jisung threaded on the gloves Minho had given him, and then pressed the stop button. 

“I’m going off at the next stop.” Jisung whispered. 

“...me too.” 

_Oh._

The bus came to a stop, and Minho stood up, letting Jisung get off the bus first, but he followed closely behind. The campus library was beautiful, the building probably age old. The entrance giant, with different faces carved into the wall, toned shapes and emotional expressions. The path to the entrance had cherry blossom trees following up to it, during spring they turned pink and the ground had petals covering it like a carpet. Not to mention the sweet scent. In the middle of the path, a square fountain used to spew water from a fish statues mouth. Students used to throw coins in it and wish for luck on tests and exams. Jisung had done the same multiple times. 

Right now, the threes had lost its leaves, the grass was ever so slightly frosty, the weather had changed quickly and turned grey. Quite different from what Jisung liked. 

Minho followed him without a word, still carrying Jisung’s bag without any objections. Once they were about to walk past the fountain Jisung stopped, and when he looked at Minho he seemed irritated. 

“Hyung. What, what do you want?” 

Taken aback, Minho stopped too. “I-” then he quieted down. 

“No. I think it’s obvious what I feel, what I want, I need you to say what _you_ want.” 

Jisung looked at the man in front of him, face as much as stone as the ones carved into the library. His eyes were promptly locked onto Jisung’s. Jisung found it obvious that he was weighing his options in his head. 

The older one let his grip on the backpack lighten, letting it, very much carefully, fall to the ground. 

Minho wasn’t the best at showing emotion, never had been, will probably never be. On the other hand, he personally thinks he weighs it up by doing things. He’s great at a lot of things. Football, holding presentations, showing love by careful and secretive gestures, taking off their shoes before bed or being the shoulder someone cries into. 

He couldn’t just say what he wanted. He just can’t. 

He stumbled over the backpack, brushed the blue hair out of Jisung’s face with his cold hands. He looked into the mocha eyes. He leaned in close. 

_I need to say something._

“Did you know- that your mouth forms a heart when you smile.”

“What?” Jisung couldn’t even help but laugh at him, even with the other fingers caressing his face and the dead serious expression. 

“Like that-” 

Then Minho leaned in, all the way, until his lips met Jisung's. 

He wasn’t good with words, he didn’t know why he suddenly said that to Jisung, while it was true, it wasn’t as close to the actual _“I like you”_ that he actually wanted to say. Jisung held his eyes wide open for a second before he gave in. Let himself drown in the explosive scent of pine woods and the sickly sweet perfume Jisung wore. He had thought about a while back, how awfully the scents should mix. Like oil and water or toothpaste and orange juice. He also thought about how much he actually liked them together. 

The pine and the sugar, Minho and Jisung. 

Either the kiss lasted three solid minutes, or no more than four seconds. Jisung just knew that he chased after it when Minho parted. 

Jisung liked it very much that Minho was a bit taller than, not so much that he had to fully tiptoe. Just enough so that, if viewed by someone else, they looked like the poster of a romantic movie, with Minho tilting his neck ever so slightly, while Jisung craned his upwards. His small fists gathering the fabric o Minho’s shirt in them. 

The two of them, standing beneath the bare trees in the cold weather. Jisung’s cheeks flared up in the same pink as the cherry blossom trees during spring. It was light, barely noticeable at all. But when Minho stood so close to him, so close that he could practically count the lashes on his eyelids, when he stood this close; the blush was not only obvious but quite charming too. 

Minho on the other hand didn’t show much of a reaction, as expected from him. Except for the already existent blush on his cheeks, if he were to walk away now; no one would have been able to tell something happened. 

“I’m not good at words.”

_Oh you stupid stupid man, you never have to say a thing again._ Jisung thought. 

He had watched countless cheesy romantic movies during the years, every drama and every romcom. He was a sucker for them. He had just as much always silently dreamt of when he was going to meet _his_ male lead. The other one, the handsome and caring love interest. His friends loved teasing him for it, the ways he always changed preferences and dreamed of a knight in shining armor. 

Turns out, he never really cared about a knight in shining armor. The one he had always dreamed of, the one he imagined himself next to when he was old and grey, the one he, without exception, always cheered him up was, and would always be; Minho. 

_It would be quite romantic to be kissed here when the trees are blooming, or in the rain..._ Jisung thought again. 

“Then shut up and kiss me again.” Jisung whispered, nearly soundless. 

Minho always did what he was told to do, that’s why his teachers liked him so much and why most of the things he did went without a problem. 

Minho nodded. He did what he was told to do.

It wasn’t as impulsive as the first time. Now that he knew Jisung wanted this, he could ease into it. He could pull the younger one closer to him, he could slip a hand around his waist and the other one threading the blue silky hair. Jisung could wrap his arms tightly around Minho’s neck, he could melt into the kiss like he was about to die. It lasted even though other students passed them with the slight judgment of _“ugh another couple not knowing how to NOT be PDA”._ It lasted even when Minho got so hot he felt like burning up and when Jisung got so cold from the weather he thought he would freeze. 

With a slow ending, they parted their lips once again. Lips red and swollen, eyes hazy and tired. Foreheads pressed together. Jisung’s hair was messy and stood in just about every direction. The backpack was still thrown onto the ground in between them, along with Jisung’s headphones, which he had dropped at one point. 

Jisung’s deep mocha eyes met with Minho’s darker cedar like irises. 

In a second, Minho broke out in a toothy smile, he couldn’t keep it in. The blush intensified and he leaned in again, like he had been waiting for this his whole life.

  
  
  
  


“Come on, give me a kiss. Give me a kiss.” Minho was mindlessly scrolling through his phone when Jisung suddenly huddled closer, almost sitting on Minho’s bus seat fully. Minho spared him one glance, before turning his attention back on his phone without a word. In his peripheral vision he could see the younger’s face turn sour and pouty. It looked like he considered something carefully before huffing. 

Minho sighed, but in heart still sped up in excitement. Then he turned his face towards Jisung and stretched his neck so that his cheek was fully exposed for Jisung. 

“Okay.” He mumbled, now more or less pretending he knew what was happening on his phone. 

Jisung giggled, grabbed Minho’s face with both of his hands and placed a wet and loud kiss on his cheek. Minho could almost hear him say that _“it’s unfortunate I don’t have lipstick, that would have been a good mark.”_

From behind them two other people let out a series of fake retching noises and “eww’s”. 

Jisung threw them a dirty look, before exclaiming. 

“You are so boring, just because I have a boyfriend who I can kiss.” 

“Yah, we aren’t boring, you are just disgusting. That kiss could be heard all around Korea.” Seungmin complained, and Jeongin was nodding promptly next to him. His face wasn’t nearly as disgusted. Jisung looked at them one more time, studying their faces. Before facing forward again he noticed the smirk forming on Seungmin’s face. 

_“Just one more kiss, pretty please.”_ Jisung whispered to Minho, only letting him hear. When Minho gave him his nodding approval, Jisung puckered up his lips like a fish, before landing one; just as loud peck on his cheek. 

A few faces turned around to look at them, Jisung didn’t even notice them, instead he threaded his hand in Minho’s and closed his eyes. 

They stepped out of the bus and stood in front of the familiar mall. The trees were no longer bare or in burning colors, but instead with white and pink flowers or small sprouts of green. The asphalt no longer smelled of recent rain, instead, the air had a heavy scent of bloom, of spring. 

The four boys walked their way towards the mall, Seungmin and Jeongin leading them. 

Minho and Jisung kept their hands tightly intertwined as if they were afraid of losing each other. 

Jisung took one step closer to Minho, he breathed in. His lungs were filled with the sweet and smooth perfume of his, then he caught a waft of the strong pine from Minho, he still wore the same cologne. 

He closed his eyes, rested his head just the slightest on Minho’s shoulder. 

The younger smiled, the older even breaking out ever so slightly feeling the other so close to him. 

Happiness. 

## ***

**Author's Note:**

> This was actually supposed to be divided into around 8-10 chapters, but I changed the flow of it, and thus decided to make it a long oneshot. Also, I'm not a very big fan of writing chaptered fics, both because I get super stressed about releasing chapters on a schedule, and because I tend to forget the plot for some weird fucking reason. I hope this was okay. Do let me know though if you'd like chaptered fics in the future, I /can/ make it work. 
> 
> I had my ups and downs when writing, and kind of took a break (a two month-long one) before starting up again. But I actually do like how it ended, and I hope you do too <33
> 
> Kudos and comments greatly appreciated, mwah 
> 
> Stay safe and I'll see you next time. 
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/hopeonmydick)


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